Due to the time of year, HCUBC decided it would be a great idea to interview one of the most famous men of the holidays: Santa Claus! Here is what we found out:
HCUBC: What are some of the difficulties you face as Santa Claus? What is it like being you?
Santa: As I’m sure you can imagine, all parts of my job are extremely difficult. As times, technologies, and people’s needs and desires change, I must learn to change my work methods along with them. Centuries ago, all that people needed to be happy were clothes and simple toys – like teddy bears, train sets, dolls, and books. You know, that kind of stuff. But nowadays, as the times have changed and evolved, demands have gotten more complex. All children want now are computers, phones, tablets, and floating trains and so on.
As Santa, I can’t just walk into the Apple store and say, “Hey bud, I need one million iPhones!” Not only because of the sheer ridiculousness of the demand, but also because Mrs. Claus prefers that my existence remain a myth. In fear of the safety and privacy of our home, I couldn’t possibly get any work done with the paparazzi always clicking away out my window, now could I?!
HCUBC: No, of course not!
Santa: And all those crazies who don’t get what they want… You couldn’t imagine the kinds of letters I receive sometimes! But yeah, so, basically, the Elves are left to do ALL the constructing and building. With the growing complexities of demand in the last decade I’ve had to double up their work schedule, almost triple it even, as well as mine! I also had to set up some yearlong workshops with Steve Jobs in order to teach them these new techniques – and I promise you that wasn’t cheap! This has also put a real strain on my relationship with the Elves as they resent me for all the back pains, and Mrs. Claus especially – I never get to spend time alone with her in the gingerbread-mansion anymore! Let’s just say things are anything but sweet right now.
HCUBC: Wow that does sound rather difficult! What about the reindeer?
Santa: Oof, don’t even get me started with them! When I first found them, they were nothing but a family of Moose abandoned by their parents. They were weak and alone in the depths of the Canadian forests. I blessed them with my magic and saved them! Now all they do is complain, “Oh, well if these candy canes aren’t 100 percent organic than we can’t eat them!” or, “I’m tired of flying through the pollution, it hurts my lungs!” and so on. Thanks to a riot led by Rudolph, I had to get each of them specialized pollution masks.
HCUBC: Sounds to me like they’ve become rather entitled.
Santa: Indeed, they work one night a year and they always complain. The Elves work 364 days a year and not a peep out of them!
HCUBC: Oh (rein)deer! On another note, there’s one thing I’ve always wondered about; how do you decide who’s naughty or nice?
Santa: Well, I must say, that’s probably the hardest part of my job. Despite popular belief, it has nothing to do with how many vegetables you eat, or how many chores you complete, or how often you listen to your parents. It doesn’t even have to do with things like drug use or adherence to societal rules. No, no, it has to do with something much deeper than that, it has to do with what’s inside – one’s core values. Being good is not about giving off the semblance of being good, but actually about being good for the sake of being good, rather than for the rewards that it might entail. It has to do with realizing that giving to those in need has more value than receiving what you want. And that helping others, and wanting to help others, and the satisfaction it brings to your soul, is the best gift you could ever give to yourself. It has to do with knowing the difference between what is right and what is wrong; what is right being actions which benefit and enrich others and humanity, and what is wrong being things which do the opposite. So, I guess in a nutshell, I evaluate goodness based on intent, and a want to help and give to those around you, as well as an appreciation of what you do have.
HCUBC: Well that’s a beautiful thing to hear. One last question and I’ll let you get back to work: Do you really go down chimneys?
Santa: Ho, ho, ho, ho! You think this belly could fit through a chimney? Ho, ho, ho! Actually, centuries ago, back in the beginning I would. But as the years went by and people started leaving me cookies and milk, although I appreciate it very much, it has made it a tad difficult for me to fit through those tiny spaces now, so I just use doors and windows. However, Mrs. Claus really wants me to stop eating them because of my high blood sugar, but how can I resist when it’s right there?!
HCUBC: Ha ha, I certainly wouldn’t be able to! Well Mr. Claus, thank you for your time, I really appreciate it; and this year I’ll leave you some sugar free cookies – but don’t worry they will still be delicious!
Santa: Thank you, I appreciate it. Please, call me Santa, Mr. Claus is my work name. Also, just on a quick note: I DO NOT WATCH CHILDREN SLEEP! That is just creepy! Although I do know if you’ve been good or bad – just wanted to clear that up. Okay, bye!
Thank you for a wonderful interview Mr. Claus. Happy Holidays HCUBC cuties!