1. Trying (Hard) to Get a Spot
People have lost reputations, families have been torn apart, friendships have ended, and bones have been broken over getting a prime study spot in IKB. Sometimes it seems like you have to be blessed by some sort of scholarly deity to be able to get a desk on the second and third floors of IKB. Lost souls drift about the building like vultures hoping to find an open spot at one the desks, preferably close to one of the giant windows, and near an outlet, and with a comfy rolling chair. Great is the hope and fair is the prize.
2. You Will Begin to Trust Strangers More Than You Ever Thought Possible
You’ve spent the last five hours juggling your study time between reviewing Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason and writing a term paper on the art of the French Revolution and those four extra-large coffees are starting to catch up with you. You look around trying to find a friend, an acquaintance, someone who is wearing a sweatshirt with a Biblical quote or animal on it, even someone wearing tie dye, someone who you feel you can trust to watch your $500 phone and $1000 laptop for you while you dash to restroom. You managed to get a seat on the third floor of IKB with a desk and a view of the windows so there is no way you are packing up your things to go to the bathroom. You’re feeling brave and you consider tempting fate and running off without asking anyone to guard your stuff, hoping that the gods of caffeine and Microsoft Word and the ghost of the Chapman Learning Commons will take pity on you and watch your things for you – you’ve done it before and everything has been alright, maybe it will even give you a bit of an adrenaline boost.
But then, stories of unfortunate friends who have had their Macs and a term’s worth of notes stolen bear down on you and you can’t stand the idea of losing the freshly finished term paper sitting happily in your laptop. You break down and ask the guy sitting near you to watch your things for a minute, he inclines his head in a barely perceptible motion and you’re home free! The whole time you’re peeing all you can think about is how the guy watching your things is wearing a Nickleback t-shirt. Who would buy a Nickleback t-shirt?! He was definitely not wearing it ironically; maybe it would have been better to just risk it, how can you trust someone with such poor music taste? You can’t. You pee as fast as you can.
3. People Start Taking the Elevator
Some people obviously need to use the elevator, that’s different. Not only is taking the elevator from the second floor to the third floor not sustainable at all, but it is also so incredibly lazy it’s embarrassing. Most of the year this is a mild annoyance, but during finals it becomes INTOLERABLE. May all who opt out of the stairs suffer the wrath of glares from fellow studiers who lugged 17 textbooks all the way from the basement up to the 4th floor and are secretly just jealous that these people obviously don’t care what others think of them. Our silent curses flow over the elevator abusers as the rest of us arrive gasping at the top of the seemingly endless stairs, only to find that there’s absolutely no space anywhere and you are doomed to stagger up and down the stairs for the rest of eternity (or until exams are done).
4. Coffee Overdoses
Coffee is a drug, a beautiful, delicious drug and thankfully it is available for about ten hours a day on IKB’s ground floor for a few dollars. The “dark roast” is described as having “a rich and nutty aroma, bolstered by citrus undertones and highlighted by striking hints of cocoa.” In reality, it’s actually just the cheapest, nastiness caffeinated and barely flavored brown water the school could feasibly sell, but it does its job. After a few dozen ounces of the “Arabica Blend” you will start shaking, your heart rate will go up, you might start saying things that you didn’t intend to, suddenly it seems like no one else understands you, you see things no one else is able to, the world vibrates and buzzes around you like never before, you need MORE COFFEE! YOU HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!
5. Your Diet May or May Not Come to Consist Solely of McDonald’s
You know how normally, when you encounter food that is potentially not altogether “healthy” or “wholesome” or “actually real” you have a mini-dialogue with yourself and the ID and Superego wrestle and the Ego eventually decides either, “yes, have that donut you have been so healthy recently” or, “no, put down the second hamburger”? During finals that doesn’t happen. You have been studying all day, your eyeballs feel like they are going to fall out, all of your friends are busy, and you still don’t feel prepared for the exam you’ve been preparing all week for. Just try to say no to a burger and milkshake at that point. I dare you.
6. Hygiene Becomes Optional
IKB takes on a somewhat…organic aroma during finals. Many of us are grappling with the why’s and how’s of the cosmos and human existence while simultaneously straining every neuron possible to get top marks on test after test, so is anyone really surprised that some of us aren’t able to find the time to put on makeup or do our hair or wear actual pants or put on deodorant or shower every few days? Add the aroma emanating from rapidly growing pyramids of fast food wrappers on pretty much every table to the effluvia of a few hundred unwashed and stressed students and you will come to appreciate the fresh air you breathe during your breaks like never before.
7. You Will See a New Side of People
At some point during finals, you might find it interesting to get a spot on the second floor of IKB during the evening on a weekday. Take off your headphones for a little while and just enjoy the swirl of conversation, the kind of conversation that occurs after ten hours of studying, five cups of coffee, and not having been in direct sunlight for the past four days. You will enjoy it.
IKB is our theme of the week! Check out 10 Ideal Snacks for Endless Days at the Library for a healthier take on the library.