So, I am sure most of you have heard about the #metoo uproar that Alyssa Milano started. For those of you who do not know about the movement, let me give you a quick update. Milano tweeted asking people to reply, “Me too”, to a tweet if they have ever been sexually harassed or assaulted. Her tweet has gotten many people to not only stand up and say, “Me too”, but to share their own personal stories, in hopes to reach out to others and show the magnitude of this issue. Now that I have you all informed, I would like to say, “Me too”, and I ask that if you cannot make it through my story, to please scroll to the last paragraph.
Here’s my story:
I grew up being naive to the idea and magnitude of sexual harassment and assault. And I never imagined it would happen to me.
Let’s start when I was in 5th grade. There was this boy in my class who was always obsessed with the girls. I never thought anything about it, until one day we were at recess and he stuck his hand down my pants. I remember being scared and not knowing what was going on. I wanted to run away, but he held on to me, telling me everything was okay. Obviously, things were not okay, but I was never told what to do in a situation like this. In fact, I did not know things like this ever happened.
Fast forward to high school… I was about to be a junior. This was the year I began to hang out with the wrong crowd, getting into things I shouldn’t. I was hanging out with a friend of mine and we were doing things we shouldn’t have been. I do not remember much about that night anymore. We were all drinking, and I remember this guy I had never met before giving me a drink. I had been told not to take drinks from anyone, but he was friends with my friend, so I assumed I could trust him. Next thing I knew I had no idea what was going on, I started getting dizzy so I went to lay down in a bed. Next thing I remember was opening my eyes to that same guy taking off my clothes. I tried telling him to stop, but nothing came out. I felt as if I couldn’t speak or move. I soon drifted back out, this time, waking up to him having sex with me. I began to cry because I still felt as if I couldn’t move or get away from him. I have no idea how long it went on for and I kept going in and out of consciousness. I remember every time I woke up I would get scared and try to pull away, but I couldn’t move. The next day I woke up and was so scared that I immediately left. I was so scared and embarrassed about what happened that I never told anyone until my freshman year of college.
Fast forward now, I am in college. It was my sophomore year. I was at a New Year’s party. Being fully aware of my past, I still made the mistake of going somewhere with a guy I knew had anger problems. We had been drinking and he forcefully pulled me onto him and shoved his hands down my pants. I pushed him away and he began to yell at me about how I should let him do that to me. He eventually left and I remember feeling the same way I had the night of my junior year of high school. I remember the other guys there telling me about how much trouble he needed to get in for doing that. But I was too scared. I never turned him in, I never gave him a terrible punishment for what he did to me. He deserved to be punished, he deserved so much for doing what he did. But I let him go with a very small and ineffective punishment. I was too scared and worried about what he would think and what others would think. But here is the thing, I should have never been afraid or ashamed to stand up for myself and make sure he got the punishment he deserved.
I have shared my story in the hopes to shine a light on the issue of sexual assault and harassment. To those of you who have experienced something similar, I am so sorry and I am here for you. And to those who have not experienced anything like this, I hope and pray you never should. This issue should not be as common as it is, but unfortunately, it is very common, and we need to shine a light on the darkness of it. So stand with me, whether you have been through something like this or not, and fight. We must let our voices be heard.