Letting Go: A Letter to Myself

Dear Kimlicious,

Girl! I don’t even have any words for you. So many things have happened and changed during the course of our life these past twenty years. Especially in this last one. Let me tell you... You were a whole hot mess and a half! It was bad. Real bad. But guess what, you made it through.

There is that one thing that you could never seem to get over from after all these years... The one thing that is always in the back of your mind. It’s also the one thing I feel like you need to hear for your own good. About a person in your life that you feel like you can’t let go. The person that hurts you all the way down to your core and spits you right back out, just to do it all over again. Someone who lavishes in your pain and dims your oh so bright star. Every time the words, "I love you," slip out of his mouth, it's like a dagger to your heart. Why are you holding on? Why can’t you let go? Why me?

Today I realized that I still don’t know any of the answers to these questions. And that's okay, but unfortunately, all these emotions came out driving our car down the highway basically just sobbing to Over By JOHNYSWIM. But it also made you think to yourself. DANG…..  I can’t keep on giving him what might be for someone new. I need to get my ish together! It’s like the ending of Lemonade but instead of making up with Jay Z, I’m making up with myself. Learning to love myself for who I am now. Flaws and all. 

You’re not going to be the same person you were last year. Lying in the snow of your boyfriend's front yard, having a Britney Spears breakdown, after throwing orange juice on his car and jumping on top of it... mind you, all in front of his parents. Girl, I told you it was bad. Not a good look, sis. But, we kept pushing through. As humans, we evolve and grow and learn from our mishaps. And I just wanted to let you know that. So stop letting the feelings and love that you thought would never die guide you. That isn’t love, it’s torture. For yourself and him. I’m only telling you this because I love you and I care and hopefully this letter inspires you to go exercise so we can have a poppin’ booty like Ashley Graham. So let it go. I think it’s finally time. The dream we had is over. Now lets go start our new journey together... 

                                                                                                                      XOXO

                                                                                                                                -Your Favorite Person, Yourself.