Jordan JaDella Smith
Does body count matter?
Don’t begin reading this lengthy article until you grab a cup of tea, a bag of popcorn, and pause whatever you are watching on television, Netflix, or YouTube. This article is about to be juicy and everything will be laid on the table.
Disclaimer: Before I begin I am not saying that any amount is good or bad, or judging anyone. The question “does body count matter?” was brought to my attention through an Instagram poll. My answer was yes, body count does matter (to me).
Personally, I believe that this question can raise a lot of conflicts, and if you are in a relationship and you know your partner has been sexually active before you it would probably be best not to ask if you are looking for a particular answer.
Let’s jump right in by acknowledging females first. In today’s society females are quickly judged by how many males they have slept with and how many guys they talk to, even if she is just wanting to keep her options open. Females who fall into these categories are associated with being promiscuous and other derogatory names. Any female with a number in the double digits is concluded by society to be easy, and that anyone can have her. In assuming this, where does her worth lie? Is she less classy? Less “wifey” material? What if she hasn’t given herself away? Is she boring? Too stuck up because she thinks no one deserves her or a prude? Women are taught to live by the keep them all on one hand rule.
On the other side of the spectrum, guys are viewed differently. The social stigma is definitely not weighed the same. Guys are praised for sleeping with a variety of women. They’re high fived, they’re said to be something to be tamed, and their ego only gets bigger. Girls only perceive guys in this case as being a player, but guys attach meaning to their sex life because they face social consequences of failure in the area of sexual proficiency. Do guys have the mentality of quality over quantity, or is it just when males are ready to settle down?
Now that we get both sides of the coin, here are some things to think about:
- If body count did not matter, why is society concerned with getting tested or contracting STDs?
- Does trusting your partner or future significant other go out of the window when the amount is high?
- Does body count only matter if you are in a relationship?
- Can you trust your partner if the body count is too high?
Is body count ignored when…
- It’s a one night stand
- You’re young (#yolo )
- You are owning up to doing what you want with your own body
Okay. I know that was a lot to take in, but let’s keep the ball rolling.
In my opinion, men questioning body count are only concerned with the woman’s past. They fail to look at her present and work toward being a part of her future. Body count has become such an important concept in relationships that women will lie to keep their number hidden, refuse sexual intercourse because they want to keep their count low or deny to share in general because she does not want her other qualities to be overridden by a judgemental society. If you feel that your body count will jeopardize building a relationship with someone then consider your worth and make the decision that the relationship you are looking to build is not right for you. The number of people you have sexual intercourse with is no one’s business and you should not fear comments and rejection based on your past experiences.