Lately, all I’ve been seeing are new relationships, engagements, marriages, and babies. The few single women left on my feed keep posting about wanting relationships, or looking for “Mr. Right.”
I used to be the girl who craved love and affection as though it were air. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I was the girl looking for “Mr. Right.” After one, small decision, all this completely changed. I decided to be content with being single. More than that, I decided to live my life completely, totally, 100%, unapologetically single.
You see, I don’t mind being alone, not one bit. In fact, I crave the moments when I can curl up with a cup of tea and simply exist.
No, it’s not always easy to be unapologetic about it. Guys will ask me how I haven’t been swept up yet, or my grandmother will wonder why I’m still single. My friends will joke about me dying alone, being a crazy cat lady, or the fact my boyfriend runs on batteries. And you know what? I couldn’t be happier.
I love that I don’t have someone holding me back, or checking in with me every five seconds. I love that I can have girl’s night, any night of the week. I love that everywhere I go, I can talk to and meet new people. Mostly, I love that my future is solely dependent on me. If I want to pick up and move across the country tomorrow, I don’t have to worry about breaking someone’s heart.
The same applies the other way. I don’t wonder what “my man” is doing, or who he’s talking to. I don’t worry about waking up in the morning to an empty bed. I definitely don’t spend my days wondering if a man loves me or not.
You see, I’m no longer the type of girl to focus on finding love. Hell, half the time I don’t even believe in it. I am openly disgusted about seeing a couple even hold hands around me. I feel a need to share a photo of my cat, or my drunken weekend with the girls for every engagement announcement, wedding photo, or positive pee stick I see. And that’s okay.
It took me years to learn, but I know now that unless it’s real, can’t-live-without-you, love, it’s a waste of my time. So many people, myself included once, rush into finding love. We condition ourselves to believe that we were born to find someone, and settle down with them. But when you’re unapologetically single, you’re given the gift of freedom. It courses through your veins, tussles your hair, and leaves you craving more. I’ve been running wild for too long, to have a man try to tame me. So until I find someone worth running wild with, I’ll remain completely, totally, 100%, unapologetically single.