This weekend really put my relationship with my fiance to the test. For those who don’t know, we currently live 3 hours apart. He lives in my hometown of Rock Springs, Wyoming and I am here in Laramie to finish school. We have been this way since last August when I transferred here after graduating from Western Wyoming Community College. I usually travel up every other weekend to see him, my family, and to work. Sometimes he does come up and see me, but last year, he was working hard on his school and graduating this past spring. For most of the past year, we have spent out time apart, and as I learned this weekend, it has put a real strain on our relationship.
One thing about being away is that your only means of communication is your phone/computer. Andrew (my fiance) and I can only communicate through texts, calling, messaging, or video chat. Mostly, it’s limited to texting and calling, as we are both very busy adults who are trying to do what’s best for our futures. Video chatting is great because we get to see each other, but nothing beats face-to-face. Texting can also lead to confusion and misconstrued communication. So what happened with us?
I believe a lot of it has to do with being apart. This weekend, we were both very busy. I was hosting a Halloween party Friday night and Saturday, I was at a Halloween party. Andrew had been working all week and cutting up elk meat with his family after. Saturday, he spent all day cutting meat and finally finished when I was at the party. A large portion of our blow up lead to not listening to each other, seeming like we don’t care, and trying to make a right out of two wrongs.
We ended up not speaking to each other a lot that same night. But the next day was even worse. We had gone to full out nuclear warfare, slinging out every bad thing each of us had done, but had been forgiven long ago. We were both emotional and trying to figure things out. We had even both said we didn’t know where to go from there and it seemed like we hit our breaking point.
Before anything happened, we agreed on something that could save us. We decided to meet up in Rawlins, which is a town halfway between Rock Springs and Laramie. Seeing each other was almost the last resort in making sure we still wanted to be together. So, we did. We both left around the same time and almost arrived at the same time. Seeing him just made me realize why we fight and how important it is that we don’t lose sight of each other.
After kissing and making up, we decided to go eat, because nothing fills a wound like food. We ate at Buck’s Sports Bar and made light conversation of our argument and came to the conclusion of paying more attention to each other. It is so hard to get caught up in the mundaneness of life and just roll with the punches, but you have to think of your partner all of the time. Your decisions affect them now and you need to consider them. We were able hang out for about two hours before the sun started going down and we both needed to be back home. It was a hard goodbye, but we both had felt better about our relationship and we left on a good note.
If there is any advice I can give after almost losing the man of my dreams, it’s this: pay attention to your partner, communicate, and don’t lose sight of what the fight is really about. Remember, you two are fighting the issue together, not fighting each other. Make sure your partner knows that they are loved each and every day.