Monday Morning Rants: Jersey Chasers Edition

There are some people who go through the world, seeing the best in people, brushing things off, and smiling constantly. I am not one of those people. I get angry a lot, people irritate me to no end, and my filter is damn near nonexistent. Lucky you, you get to read my aggression and all about the people who irritate me in my new weekly rants! Without further adieu, I present to you this week’s rant on jersey chasers.

According to Urban Dictionary, a Jersey Chaser is defined as follows: “These are the girls that are found always at the men's athletic sporting events. Often they are pretty girls that follow around the players and believe that they will all be famous. They tend to apply titles to them instead of names, such as ‘he plays baseball, or he is a football player.’” Sound familiar? Unless you have been living under a rock, you should already have a rolodex of faces rolling in your mind. I usually try not to care about couples or who’s hooking up with who, but for some reason this has really been bothering me. Maybe it’s the stress, maybe its because its cuffing season, and I’m a resentful bitch. Either way, I have had it.

I have had It up to here (hand motion indicating the motherly “up to here” thing) with all these girls who only care about a guy because of athletic status. When you constantly introduce your boyfriend as, “my boyfriend, the football player” I have a hard time believing you care about him. Or when all of your stories involving hanging out with the guys on the “insert sport here” team, don’t include any of those guys actual names, I doubt that you actually know anything about them. When I know what team “your man” plays for and his number, long before I know his name, that is a pretty big red flag. While your relationship status is solely up to you, I find it highly ironic that the same women who complain about being objectified, are the ones talking to guys based solely on their starting positions.

Sure, maybe some people are impressed by your new “status,” but the rest of us just see how shallow you are. You make it apparent that you don’t actually have feelings for this guy, you just want an increase in Insta followers and a boost in your popularity status. (Both of which are really shitty reasons to date someone, btw.) You think you are something special, but those of us who see your true colors know exactly what will happen. If he gets injured, benched, or doesn’t make it to the pros, you’re gone faster than a PBR at a college party. We know that you only like him while its convenient and “getting you somewhere.” Then you’ll be off to the next member on the team.

Maybe I’m old school, maybe I’m too old for this hookup culture, or maybe I’m just sick of your shit. All I’m saying is it would be a breath of fresh air for some of you to try dating a guy because he makes you laugh, or because he has a great personality. Stop trying to objectify men, and take a minute to get to know them personally. Maybe, if there is a real connection you should consider making him your boyfriend. Then you can introduce him to me, as “blank” your boyfriend, not as “blank” on the “sports team.”

What a novel idea.