Often times, you hear that people are either introverted or extroverted. I would label myself as an extroverted introvert, if that makes sense. Basically, I am very excitable around my strong groups of friends and sometimes new people. In big crowds, however, I feel like I am drowning in sociability and I have to escape.
In other words, I get drained when I am around a lot of people I don’t know for a long period of time. I’m good at making friends, but I can get very claustrophobic about certain situations. For instance, I go to a lot of bars for karaoke. Once the bar starts to get packed where it’s hard to move around, it’s time for me to go. I get the fear that if something happens, I might not be able to escape because of all the people.
When I am all peopled out from karaoke or classes, I like to stay by myself in my room for a while and just enjoy being alone. I don’t have anyone relying on me to make plans, I don’t have to worry about socializing, and I can do what I want. A lot of the time, I catch up on homework, do my diamond painting, or just relax while watching Netflix or Youtube. I can stay inside, safely away from anymore socialization.
I think that a lot of my friends and family get scared for me. They’re nervous that I spend a lot of time in my room, on my own, and that I’m depressed. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I think we all should be comfortable being alone and by ourselves from time to time. One day, there may be a day when we are truly alone. How do you cope with that if you’ve always only been surrounded by parties, people, and noise?
In my opinion, much of my indifference with being alone comes from my childhood. I only really had a few very close best friends, like maybe 3. I was often teased as being weird or larger than the other kids. I kept to myself a lot as a kid, because then, no one could degrade me or tell me what to do. I was in my own little world and it was peaceful.
My solace also comes from being outside and around the wilderness. Going hunting is a very humbling and soul searching experience. Being vulnerable outside makes you come to terms with who you are and if you can be at peace with yourself. I believe I have truly come into my own by being okay with being alone.
Do not ever be afraid to take a day for yourself. Sleep in, watch movies, make food, and just enjoy yourself. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonesome.