So October 2018 was kind of a stressful month for me, and honestly probably pretty stressful for most college students. Right now I am taking 19 credits, working two jobs/internships, and trying to push through friends. Of course October is also midterm season so obviously it is a wonderful time of year for most college students.
Well one night this October I was chilling in my room watching netflix. It had been a long day and I was just excited to be home. I was watching friends, the episode Eventually got a little bored, and I found myself exploring the exciting world of tinder.
I wasn’t expecting to make much progress on my tinder game, I usually don’t get passed the first message, however I swiped right on this one girl and we matched. I was like super surprised because I rarely match with anyone. Her name was Jessica, and nevertheless I was interested and we began to talk.
We hit it off. We started flirting, talked about our hometowns, and joked around quite a bit. On her profile it said she was from New York, which is where I’m from. I asked where, and it was somewhere that I had lived before in the past. The more we talked she honestly sounded like someone who really knew that area and it made me excited to have met someone with this in common.
After a few hours of chatting she asked if I’d like to hangout. I figured “why not” and we exchanged information. She had given me her address, and I told her that I would be over at her place in about 30 minutes. In the meantime your boy had to started getting fresh. I got in the shower, changed into some nice clothes, and I even made my hair look amazing.
I got in the car and drove to the address she had given me. I pulled up to the apartment complex, got out of the car, and headed up the stairs to the second floor. When I got to apartment 2022 I was a little nervous, this would be my first date in years, so I quickly started practicing my opening lines (I know I’m a tool). I knocked on the door, heard the footsteps of someone moving inside, and watched as the door knob turned.
Suddenly I face-to-face with a bro named Ryan. I told him I was here to see Jessica, and he informed me that there was no Jessica here. “You’re the second dude to come by tonight” Ryan explained “Is she like giving you the wrong address or something?” Recovering from the awkwardness I told Ryan to have a goodnight, and he shut the door.
At this moment I was thinking to myself that either Jessica was looking for a ménage à trois, or that I had been catfished. Jessica received the benefit of the doubt, I chose to go with a third option being that possibly Jessica just had given me the wrong address. I pulled out my phone and sent her a message on tinder. I sent her something like “I think you gave me the wrong address” and almost immediately Jessica disappeared.
Standing in a cold outside hallway I thought to myself “God dammit” as I realized that I had been…hoodwinked. I took a deep breathe, headed towards my car, and started laughing so hard. Taking in the reality of this situation I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t known how far things were going to go tonight earlier in the night I only had enough money for food or condoms, I chose the latter and I was deeply regretting it.
I don’t know if I’ll always remember Jessica, but what will always remember is what happened next. My roommate Amanda had heard from me about 10 minutes earlier, I had needed to know where the apartment complex was and texted her for directions. Amanda eventually found out that I was meeting a girl, so I felt it was only fair to let her know of the terrible news.
Amanda at first was in disbelief of the situation but quickly we started laughing out loud over the phone. As we repeatedly discussed the situation theories started to blossom from our unhinged minds. Eventually one of theorized that this Jessica girl was pulling a prank on poor innocent Ryan. However we felt we needed the company of a third opinion, so our friend Colter was sooned merged into the call.
Now Colter was laughing, I’ve seen him laugh like this before and even though I couldn’t see him the grin on his face was vivid. He eventually came to the same theory as Amanda and I had. We went on chatting for awhile about the position I had found myself in. I then realized after about 30-minutes that I was still in the parking lot of the apartment complex.
One of them had the great idea of having me go back to Ryan’s apartment and ask him if anyone would have any motive for doing this. Amanda and Colter agreed to stay quiet as I put our conversation on speaker, this way they could hear me questioning Ryan without giving themselves away. I placed the phone in my breast pocket and I approached the door. I knocked.
Once the door was open Ryan was presented with my friends and I’s theory. His roommate Brock sat in a recliner a couple feet away from the front door, and Brock would chime in to provide information for this “case.” They soon presented me with the fact that they both had dated two girls who live right below in this apartment complex, but that neither of them were named Jessica.
Again I said goodnight to Ryan and now Brock. With this new batch of information Colter, Amanda, and I planned our next move. We all figured that before I leave for home I should at least knock of the door that would be Ryan and Brock’s ex-lovers and see if a person that looks like Jessica answers. Our mindset was basically that you can’t leave no stone unturned.
Slowly I walked up to the door that sported the apartment number 1022. My knocks on the door were the only sounds heard. The apartment was quiet. Standing outside the door I could hear a man and woman in another apartment argue about a bicycle. After about 2-minutes had passed I decided that I should probably put an end to this catfish adventure.
Bringing my phone to my ear I said goodnight to my friends. I entered my car and drove home. What at one point was an extremely boring night turned into of the most entertaining nights of the month. The next day I would return to the world of tinder. I once again explored many profiles finding one profile that someone obviously made of their dog, but it was funny enough that I swiped right anyway. We matched, and at that moment I was afraid that I was about to go from being catfished to dogfished.