At our anniversary dinner, my steak was cooked to perfection. As I sipped on red wine, I realized that making the first move was the best decision I ever made.
My boyfriend, Nick, and I just celebrated our one-year anniversary, and all I could think about was how nervous I was 365 days ago when I asked him out. You might not think that this was a big deal, but even though it isn’t empowering to wait for the guy to make the first move, it was what I felt like I should do. So when I decided to go against that, it was scary. I’d had enough of waiting and decided to take destiny into my own hands.
In my opinion, girls are often too passive when it comes to dating. Hearing friends say things like “I’m going to wait for him to make the first move,” “It’s the guy’s job to ask the girl out,” or “I’m waiting for the right guy to come sweep me off my feet” can really put pressure on you to wait around and allow the guy to have all the power in the dating decision making process. Therefore, I believe that we need to drop all of these notions of what is right and wrong in the dating world and embrace that as women in Canada we can make our own choices.
Really, though—why should you make the first move? Can anything good come out of taking a risk? If you are scared of rejection or embarrassment, keep in mind that guys feel this way every time they ask someone out. It isn’t easy for anyone. So why hesitate? If you are close, you might be concerned that you will mess up your friendship with this person. In the case of my boyfriend and I, he was my best friend from high school, and one of my only high school friends who went to UVic. The risks were great and I had no idea how the future would unfold, but sometimes, you have to take a chance in order to succeed.
Honestly, what I believe is most important is not whether you choose to make the first move or wait for the guy to act on his feelings. Just remember that you are capable of making your own choices and taking matters into your own hands if you want to see a change.