First of all, I am not a highly sexual person at all. In fact, I think I might be the most secretly repressed person I have ever known in my life so far.
I remember always feeling so shy and awkward when dealing with things related to sexuality throughout my life, such as sexual development, societal expectations for romance and sexuality, and romantic/sexual attraction. I remember feeling grossed out when seeing other people kiss, or turning to stare at a wall or floor when watching a sex scene on the television, or feeling awkward and wary when approached by a guy on the club floor. I’ve even tried to avoid other people asking me out on dates.
Yet, like nearly every other human ever, I felt desire for love, connection and, okay, pleasure. But as a perpetually single and slightly socially awkward person who wanted love and connection over hookups and one night stands, I felt lost in this modern society full of Tinder hookups and casual sex. There wasn’t anybody out there who sparked my interest enough, and my sexual desires weren’t strong enough for me to be motivated with sexuality.
For many years, I felt so alien and unhappy with how I apparently fell behind other peers concerning relationship and sexual experiences. I’m not proud of this, but I honestly died a little bit inside every time I was asked about why I didn’t have any boyfriends or sexual experience yet. I’ve cried so many times over not having someone to be in love and share human experiences with.
Even when I attempted to explore my sexuality by spending time with my own body, I didn’t even get close to pleasure because I always ended up being squeamish when touching myself. Every time I got close to pleasuring myself, I felt a bit gross and just stopped and went to bed.
So recently, after feeling frustrated with a lack of a love and sex life, I bit the bullet and decided to buy a vibrator. The first time I bought a vibrator was, in the long term, a failure for me. The first vibrator I bought was a hot pink cylinder-shaped rod, and everytime I tried to use it, it ended up being too big to fit in, and not being strong enough to bring me over the edge. Honestly, it felt like a let down.
Back to the drawing board I went. What next could I experiment with?
I hate to admit this, but I found out about the Hitachi Magic Wand by accidentally watching a pornographic video involving the wand. I was intrigued by this tool’s design, which was different from what I had in mind when mentally picturing a vibrator.
Yes, it wasn’t easy with having many different and unique products to choose from. But I had read and heard on the internet that the Hitachi Magic Wand was one of the best vibrators ever, and after a few days of researching the products through online reviews, I went to a store selling adult products to get something that would spice up my non-existent sex life.
When I brought the box home, I couldn’t wait to open it! After hearing a lot about this device and how it brings orgasms pretty quickly most of the time, I was so excited! I did not know what an orgasm felt like exactly. So I was really curious about what would happen.
It was really surprising that the Magic Wand was much bigger than I expected. It was roughly sized like a huge microphone. It had a very sleek design, which I really liked. Several issues I had with the Magic Wand were that it had a limited cord, and needed to be plugged in to charge, and it only had two speeds to control. I did have some reservations about the wand being so loud as well, so I always used it under the bed sheets. I wonder if my roommates could hear everything (sorry), and for next time, I would buy a quieter vibrator.
The first time I tried out this vibrator? Whoa. Totally a mind-blowing experience. Even if there were only two speeds to control, both were just enough to bring someone who wasn’t experienced (me) to orgasm pretty quickly. When I tried it out, I started with the slower speed, which was equivalent to “laundry machine-like vibrations” and brought me to a warm and fuzzy orgasm about ten minutes later. It honestly felt so quick, but powerful. The second and stronger speed control (which could be kindly described as “weed wacker-like vibrations”), though, was really powerful and brought me to orgasm in less than five minutes. And I have to admit it, using the Magic Wand was really addictive for me. I recall one night where I actually had three orgasms in a row!
And honestly, it did make a very effective stress reliever. Anxious from studying for a tough midterm? Magic Wand is what you go to. Feeling sad? Magic Wand is there to cheer you up. Can’t sleep and tossing and turning in bed? Magic Wand is here for you. (It was actually a great sleep aid for me, surprisingly.)
Even though this may sounds weird to some people, buying a vibrator actually helped me feel more confident about myself and my sexuality. I didn’t feel like I had to wait around for someone else to come to me in order to enjoy sexual activity. Instead, it allowed me to embrace my body more and spend more time loving myself and my sexuality. So what if I don’t have a significant other or if I’m not sexually active with other people yet? So what if I am not going out on dates these days? I always will have a date with myself and Mr. Magic Wand if nobody else loves me. And hey, it makes a really good massager, too.
Best $90 I ever spent.