Your first one night stand can be scary and exciting, and you might not really know what to expect. Here are a few things I wish I had known before my first one night stand.
1. It felt like losing my virginity all over again
The only other person I had slept with was my long term ex-boyfriend, who I knew very well and who had intimate knowledge of my body and insecurities. Now, I was about to let someone who had not even seen so much as my bra see my vagina. Even though I’d been having sex for years at this point, I suddenly felt unsure of what I was supposed to do. What goes where and at what time? Who takes off whose clothes and how long can I wait before I have to pee afterwards? All of this felt new and I wasn’t expecting it at all. To say I was thrown off by my own uncertainty would be a gross understatement.
2. You don’t actually have to pretend to like the person afterwards
Since all sex had been to me was something you do with someone you love, I wasn’t prepared for the awkward pillow talk where you find out you have absolutely nothing in common, aside from the fact that you’ve seen each other naked. We had uncomfortable small talk for a few hours after, which I’ve come to realise was my way of trying to justify sleeping with a random dude. I wish I had known that the only justification I needed for sleeping with someone was that I wanted to have sex.
3. It’s not necessary to try and keep “in touch” afterwards
This one wasn’t really hard for me to do, because the guy neglected to answer the text I sent him a few days later. I felt like shit when he didn’t reply, but I never needed to send that text in the first place. It didn’t do me any good and just made me feel worse when I didn’t get a reply.
4. It’s not weird to ask when was the last time they were checked
Trust me on this one: it will give you peace of mind that money can’t buy. The more sexual partners you have, the easier it gets to ask the question, and it should be talked about openly. It’s not shameful or something that should offend anyone! If you want to know, just ask. Also, go get checked yourself. When it comes to sexual health, getting checked “too often” isn’t a thing. That way, you can offer the same reassurance to your partners.
5. Having a one night stand (or multiple) doesn’t make you any less of a person
Going to school the morning after, I felt like I had SLUT written across my forehead. First things first: having casual sex doesn’t make you anything other than a person who has casual sex. And, most importantly, embracing your sexuality is incredibly empowering! It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to feel lessened by. You just got laid, and that’s pretty wonderful, regardless of how long (or how short) you knew the person for.
Do you have any advice for first timers? Let us know in the comments below!