The last time I wrote about Twilight, I talked about my initial thoughts while reading the book. Happy news, I finished it! Having finished the book, though, I found my curiosity only grew. The book had been fine. I could see it being a middle school girl’s dream to read. But what were the movies like? What would this book look like on camera, starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?
The only reasonable thing to do at this point was to watch the first Twilight movie, which is exactly what I did. And I found myself with a lot of questions and very few answers.
- I’m sorry, WHAT was that first line?
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I had to double back to make sure I was watching the first movie and not one of the later ones.
- Arizona is the land of cacti.
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How do you capture Arizona other than with a candid shot of Kristen Stewart surrounded by cacti?
- Wow, the saturation is bad.
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This entire movie looks like it was put through the filter on my iPhone called “Dramatic Sepia.”
- The dialogue.
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Whoever wrote the script deserves an Oscar. Winning lines like “Your hair’s longer,” “I cut it since last time I saw you” and “Hello” really make this film high art.
- Bella is just holding a cactus, huh?
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Bella’s cactus survived all the way from Arizona to Washington State. Meanwhile, my cactus gets stressed when I move it from my desk to my dresser.
- ANNA KENDRICK.
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I don’t know who her character was, but she was my favourite.
- The Cullens and their horrible makeup.
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It looks like someone painted their faces like they’re mimes.
- Robert Pattinson’s delivery.
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Robert Pattinson says everything in this movie like he’s never spoken before in his life.
- “You don’t even say hi to me.”
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“Hi.”
- WHAT is Rosalie’s problem?
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No, really. I don’t get it.
- The cinematography for this movie is nauseating.
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This movie looks like something I would film after getting off a Tilt-A-Whirl… I got vertigo sitting down.
- Edward’s not as sparkly as I thought he would be?
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The cinematography for this movie is nauseating.
- I adore Alice.
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Okay, I’m sorry, Alice is actually my favourite character.
- That plotline really came out of nowhere.
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So they’re playing baseball (which was incredible), and then suddenly Bella’s being chased by some white boy named James?
- Wait, so Bella wants to be a vampire?
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The moment where they go to prom should be cute, and yet I can’t help feeling like Bella spent it whining and plotting about becoming a vampire. Why would she never want to eat normal food again?
Does anyone else have thoughts on the first Twilight movie? Better yet, has anyone else watched it recently for the first time like me? Let us know in the comments!