Everyone knows someone with a story about a roommate from hell. I have a friend whose roommate insisted that the rest of the housemates wear rubber gloves when washing dishes to—get this—protect the dishes from people’s hands. Apparently, he thought that human hands were dirtier than dirty dishes. (Side note: this guy was offered a scholarship to Cambridge. Somehow.) This guy was also known to use a pan, then leave it by the sink all night, insisting that he’d “wash it later,” and, when later came, “tomorrow.”
My friend and his roommate were very close before they moved in together. When they parted ways after a fixed term lease, they were barely speaking to each other, let alone friends. A bad roommate situation can not only ruin friendships, but it can make your home life pretty miserable. Imagine coming home after class to a kitchen counter covered in dishes; a bathroom without toilet paper; a living room strewn with someone else’s crap, and loud music late into the night when you’re writing an essay or studying for an exam. Do you want to have the next roommate from hell story?
I have an awesome roommate, fellow Her Campus contributor Leah Smith. We actually met at Her Campus—yet another reason to join HC—and through our mutual classes as writing majors. We didn’t know each other that well when we decided to find a place together, but it’s worked out great for both of us. Whether you’re best friends with your potential roommate or you just met them and think that you’ll get along, communication is key to determining whether your household will be happy or horrendous.
The Rules
Before you can decide what sort of housing you’re looking for, you need to determine if you and your roommate are compatible in a living situation. You’ve grown up with a family, and you know that you don’t always get along. Maybe your siblings jump into the shower right when you need to get ready to leave, or your dad watches TV late into the night while you’re trying to sleep. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your roommate. (Unless you decide to room with your sibling. In that case, this may not apply to you.)
One of the most irritating things about living in first year residence was how noisy it was. People always talked in the hallways, and neighbours slammed doors late at night. And that was just during the week; on the weekends, forget any chance of peace and quiet. Living off campus, you can decide for yourself if your home will be party central or if it will sometimes be mistaken for the local library.
Ask your roommate what they think is a reasonable amount of noise during the week when you’re both studying. Is quiet music okay? Occasional television? Or do you need dead silence? If you disagree on this point, you may find living with this person to be difficult. Same with partying: if you like to have a lot of friends over on the weekend and your roommate wants nothing to do with that, that may be a problem.
You should also consider how much mess you can take in shared living spaces. Some may want dishes washed, dried and put away immediately after use; others can tolerate a dirty plate or two on the counter. Others still live in a world where dishes are of no concern to them, and thus will never be washed. Figure out which one of these people you are and who your roommate is. It may seem far off at this stage, but you may want to discuss ideas for a chore schedule, like alternating who cleans the bathroom and who vacuums weekly.
Think about what sort of food you like. Do you eat a lot of take out? Do you like to cook? Do you subsist mainly off of ramen and microwave meals? You aren’t necessarily going to share every meal as roommates. My roommate and I tend to, but I also know a household of four where each person tends to buy their own separate food and make their own meals because they all have their own taste in food. Find out if you and your roommate have similar diets. Splitting groceries can save you a lot of money; as a single person, it can be difficult to know how much food you can eat all by yourself, so things tend to go bad before you can consume them. Sharing food with your roommate is not a requirement, but may be an asset in a living situation. Also remember to discuss food allergies and dietary restrictions, so no one suffers any surprise allergic reactions.
You and your roommate should discuss a guest policy. Are you a shut-in or a social butterfly? Do you love to entertain, or do you like privacy in your home? Decide if you need to notify your housemates before bringing people over. Consider whether or not you run in the same social circles. If not, will it be weird to have strangers in your house? If so, will it be awkward hanging out with a friend and not including your roommate?
Other topics that may be relevant to discuss include alcohol and drugs, pets, sleep schedules, and any other part of your lifestyle that may clash with someone else’s.
The House
If you’ve made it this far in the guide, I assume you’ve decided that you won’t kill each other in your sleep. So congratulations! You’re on your way to becoming the best of friends/grocery shopping buddies.
Some of the best places to look for housing in Victoria are Kijiji, Craigslist, and Places4Students.com, which posts advertisements specifically aimed at UVic students. Advertisements will list lots of features that you and your roommate may or may not think are essential to your home.
For instance, do you agree on whether or not your suite absolutely needs a washer and dryer? It can be highly inconvenient to lug your laundry to a laundromat, but if it lowers the rent, it could be worth it to some. Decide for yourselves from the get-go whether this is a want or a need. As well, you may find a number of basement suites or the like that do not have any sort of living room that you could use as an escape from the isolation of your bedroom. Consider whether or not this is something you care about when searching for a house.
Of course, when you’re looking for a place to rent, the number one thing you’re looking at is the cost. How much are each of you willing to pay per month? Would someone agree to pay more rent if they get a nicer bedroom, or vice versa? Do you both want cable, or can you agree to live off of Netflix? Check to see if listings include any or all utilities in the price of rent: it can save you a lot of hassle if your landlord manages and pays your utility bills for you.
Another way to save money is to rent rooms in a home with five or six other people, rather than just you and your one or two roommates with whom you’ve agreed to live. Would you be comfortable living with strangers? Would you be okay living in a co-ed house, or do you only want roommates of the same sex? Housing websites will often carry advertisements by people looking for roommates, so if this is something you’re considering, check out the links above.
The mantra of real estate is location, location, location. When choosing a neighbourhood, what is most important to you? Proximity to school? Bus routes? Work? Downtown? Hopefully, you and your roommate will agree. As well, you should consider how you’re getting to and from your new home. Does one of you have a car that they are willing to share/play chauffeur in? Do you need bike storage? How easily can you get to a grocery store? Location will also determine price. Remember: you may pay less if you rent in Esquimalt, but know that you’re in for one hell of a commute to UVic.
That’s a lot to think about, isn’t it? If you ask your potential roommate these important questions, you should be able to figure out if you’ll be a good match and find a house that you will both love to live in. I hope this guide was helpful on your quest to find an awesome roommate!