Edited by: Jina Aryaan
I have always been what our parents and teachers politely dubbed a “late bloomer.” While my classmates were learning about the world of dating, and began experimenting with drugs and alcohol, I was having Disney movie nights and binge eating Reece’s cups with my friends (but hey, ain’t no shame in Disney movies people, High School Musical 3 is my jam, just saying.)
You know that girl in that weird cheesy rom-com coming-of-age movie, the painfully shy one who sits in the back of class, praying to whatever there is above that the teacher won’t cause her a full blown anxiety attack by calling her out in class? The one who slowly finds her way, and has a romantic puppy love relationship with the boy next door, blossoming into a more confident person, driving off to college in her beat up car, off into the sunset as the credits start rolling? Yeah that was me-minus the boy next door, and the romantic sunset. I drove off into the sunset alright; but instead of my hair whistling in the wind, I was a panting ball of sweat, because my car didn’t have AC… and instead of a cutie by my side, my flute case rode shot-gun, because, oh yes, I was a band geek. That may explain a lot. Oh high school, what a time to be alive.
In case you hadn’t gathered, I did not do the whole dating thing in high school. It seemed that everywhere I went, I was taunted by my perpetual single-ness. Even my hairdresser asked the requisite “Sooo! Do you have boyfriend??” question before she even knew what I wanted with my hair. And then of course she proceeded it to cut it way to short, giving me a hairstyle that would later resemble a fro once it dried. So thanks for nothing, Ashley.
I think much of the reason why I didn’t ever go after anyone in high school had to do with some of the insecurities I was struggling with. It felt much safer to pine from afar than to face the possibility of rejection. Plus, being that I was painfully shy, the most I ever spoke to a boy was to hand him my papers in class, and trust me when I say I perfected the art of the silent paper pass, if only for the sole reason of avoiding an awkward voice crack (yes, I got voice cracks, add it to the list.)
After graduating high school, I thought that college was definitely going to be my time, and I would land a hottie as soon as orientation-week was up-maybe slightly optimistic, but I had decided to embrace an attitude of positive thinking! (I was sadly mistaken.) My first two years of university passed, and I was still relentlessly single-I crushed, and I crushed hard, but still silently from afar, as is my MO. But after doing some self-reflecting, I realized that it wasn’t that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, or that I was destined to die alone, surrounded by puppies, (because I’m sorry, but if I have to be crazy, I would much prefer to be a crazy dog-lady, thanks.) I just wasn’t really trying to “get in the game.”
So, after lots of convincing and far too many pep talks, my friends convinced me to make a Tinder. And I was absolutely terrified. I knew the reputation of Tinder, but I also knew I wanted more than a casual hook-up buddy, and I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. So I was very skeptical that it would be worth my time, but boy was I mistaken.
The whole experience definitely opened my eyes to things I hadn’t even thought I would realize. First things first: ladies, if you need an insta-boost of confidence, let me be the one to tell you that when someone swipes right, its like they’re basically telling you they think you’re attractive-and that feels amazing! Plus, you get to work on your flirting game from behind a screen, so they won’t have any idea that you’re currently curled up, binge eating pasta in a pair of sweats, with your friends helping you craft the perfect message-hey, everybody’s gotta start somewhere!
Then comes the scary part-meeting up with a complete and total stranger. I’m sure I don’t need to explain the many ways of why this can be scary, but it’s part of the Tinder game, or any online dating for that matter. Obviously, meet up in a public place, and hope that your date is cuter than their pictures, and at the very least, isn’t a creepy weirdo and/or serial killer. Unfortunately for many people, myself included, you have to endure some awkward dates to get to the good ones. Sometimes there is just absolutely no chemistry, but hey, at least you’ll get a free coffee out of it! Or you might not, if your date insists that you pay separately when the barista asks-true story. Let’s just say that he was not the one.
I think I originally was so opposed to the idea of Tinder because I knew that I wanted a relationship, and I couldn’t imagine finding a guy on there who was interested in the same things I was. And trust me, lots of them were not-I found myself getting frustrated by the sleazy messages, wondering why I was willingly subjecting myself to it all; I knew that was unfortunately part of what I had signed up for. So I was pleasantly surprised when I finally got a message that wasn’t a sexual innuendo or a cheesy dad joke. Flash forward to today, and the guy behind that little message is now my amazing boyfriend. I never imagined that I would ever meet someone on Tinder, but I am so happy I did. I think a lot of things in life come down to timing and luck, and I think both were on our side that day.
So maybe my high school experience was not quite as glamorous as those cheesy rom-coms had led me to believe it should have been. I may have been a painfully shy band geek, stumbling my way through adolescence, flute in hand, but that high school identity allowed me to become who I am today. I believe that life unfolds a certain way, the way its supposed to. If I hadn’t endured those painful awkward years, I would not be in the place that I am, living the life I’m living. I may not have had the picture-perfect romance I so desperately longed for as a teenager; if I had, I may not have gone through those brutal Tinder dates. But then I wouldn’t have met the person who still gives me butterflies and a goofy grin, the person who I can talk to for hours or simply share the silence with. So maybe I “bloomed” slightly later-but I am now incredibly grateful that I did, because it led me to something pretty special.