TikTok Feminism and the Rise in Purity Culture

Gen Z isn’t having sex.

Earlier this year, The New York Times posted an opinion piece stating that “Gen Z is in a sex recession,” chalking it up to a few key points: fear of rejection, prioritizing other things in their lives, as well as access to phones and online entities, such as OnlyFans and AI girlfriends, impairing people’s abilities to socialize and maintain relationships. However, I would also argue that attitudes towards sex are regressing, taking a turn for the more conservative, and this sex negativity is a result of what I like to call “TikTok Feminism.”

Feminism and sex positivity have always gone hand in hand, seeing as women’s reproductive rights have always been at risk.

Terms like “male-centred” and “pick me girls” started out as terms that were used to really discuss the ways in which patriarchy and misogyny affect women and how internalized misogyny can cause women to seek out male validation at the expense of their female relationships.

Pick me girls used to be the women who were not “girls’ girls;” the girls who tried to embarrass you in front of the guy you liked or swore off makeup in order to be seen as “one of the guys.” Then it became any woman who had male friends or had hobbies that may be considered stereotypically masculine. 

Similarly, the term girl’s girl used to describe women who have your back in a situation and are not in competition with other women.

This is a really nice sentiment, however, with the way that people are currently using it, it has now been weaponized to refer to any woman that you do not like.

All of these terms work to further categorize women, as if to say “you’re not performing womanhood right” or at least in a way that is not agreeable with the majority, which just feels like a new way to police women’s actions under the guise of feminism and female empowerment.

TikTok feminism tries to be empowering by constantly analyzing things through the use of terms like male-centred and male gaze but simultaneously uses phrases like ‘girl math’ and saying “I’m just a girl,” which ends up demeaning women further.

Lust

There has also been an increase in the use of the word “lustful” as a negative trait.

This season of Love Island USA had certain islanders adamant about the fact that they were not lustful or denying other connections under the assumption that they are “based on lust”. This is a very strange thing to be ashamed of on a show like Love Island, considering almost every challenge encourages sexual behaviour and often involves everyone heavily making out with each other, but this season the idea of lust seemed to mean a lot to the islanders.

Perhaps they are lustful, but is that a bad thing?

Until recently I hadn’t heard the word lust used in a modern vernacular, lest someone was referring to the seven deadly sins, but now it seems as though any reference towards sexual desire, a normal human feeling, is being determined lustful and being used as a way to police other people’s behaviours.

Of course, some part of this obsession with lust stems from people wanting to be desired for more than just their physical aspects, but a larger part is also coming from a rise in purity culture and an outdated notion that sex is a dirty thing or something that should only be talked about behind closed doors.

Sabrina Carpenter’s latest album, Man’s Best Friend, received quite a bit of backlash when she revealed the cover last year. The album cover, which is overtly sexual in nature, depicts Carpenter on her hands and knees with a faceless man loosely holding a piece of her hair like a leash. At the time, it sparked much debate about whether or not the image is degrading, considering the political climate, some suggesting that it would be more feminist if she was the man in the suit, with other comments going so far as to say that she was setting women back 100 years and catering to the male gaze.

Is it really possible for a single pop singer to set women’s rights back? Is there a right way to embrace your sexuality? Is sexual imagery only feminist if the woman is in the dominant position? Does any allusion to sex automatically mean catering to the male gaze?

Regardless of your opinion on the sexual depiction, audiences’ reactions to the cover are extremely indicative of how society’s feelings about sex are regressing.

Rather than getting upset with government officials, who actually have the power to set women’s rights back, people aim their vitriol at a pop singer’s album cover. This misplaced anger furthers the constant shaming of women and ignores the agency that she has in putting out an image like that. These comments made with the intent of creating feminist discussion, end up doing the opposite.

It decides that she must not know what she is doing and that sex is an inherently male thing and argues that sex must be something that is done to women rather than something they are an active participant in. By determining the cover as catering to the male gaze, it removes any sense of agency she might have had in creating it.

With women constantly being called ‘bops’ and ‘birds’ online by men and women alike, influencers making videos about the dangers of lust, and any hint of sexual expression being reduced to “catering to the male gaze,” social media has rebranded slut-shaming under the guise of feminist critique.

The main problem with TikTok feminism is that it lacks a lot of the nuance required for such conversations. There is a place to discuss the harm of male-centred women and pick me girls and women with internalized misogyny, which is really what all of this stems from, but rather than creating any meaningful discussion these terms have instead been weaponized.

Social media fosters an environment of moral superiority, particularly in relation to sex, and these social media discussions play a large role in furthering society’s current conservative attitude and could explain Gen Z’s sex recession.

• #feminism
• #sex
• #tiktok