Edited By: Joy Jiang
How often have you heard the term “man enough”? What does that even mean? When somebody tells another person, “Come on, be a man,” instantly, they are assigning their beliefs onto another person by objectifying what it means to be a man. As the year comes to an end and we have seen many improving changes, we still live in a world where toxic, hyper-masculinity is lauded in men. The noxious words “man up” are often thrown at men of all ages—boys who are caught shedding tears over a heartbreak, men who casually prefer the colour pink, or men who do not like to talk about sports. The truth is, whether you are a man or a woman, boy or girl, there is no specific “way to be.” Our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and even conscious thoughts are manipulated on a daily basis, and it all begins when we’re children.
But what does it mean to be a male? What does it mean to be a female? Where does the term “be a man” even come from?
I am going to begin this discussion with a confession: I have never seen Jane the Virgin. In fact I have never seen any of Justin Baldoni’s work. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I was scrolling through YouTube and came across a TED talk video titled, “Why I’m Done Trying To Be ‘Man Enough’” that I first became acquainted with his work. This talk not only moved me deeply, but provided an epiphany that made me highly aware of the stereotypes encountered by men. As a matter of fact, how often do we see men talk so openly? To break this stereotype, Baldoni spends 20 minutes questioning why men are taught to be stoic and aggressive, why vulnerability and femininity is considered to be weak, and how even the smallest, most subtle phrases used in everyday life plant these negative seeds that lead to division. He begins off by talking about men, and redefining masculinity, proposing a challenge to men, urging them to see if they “can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man and go deeper.” One of the most deeply moving phrases he says is, “Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life?” Through this warm and personal talk, Baldoni shares his effort to reconcile who he is with who the world tells him how a man should be.
After watching this talk with a decent amount of apprehension, I was curious to know more. I began to follow him on social media and I came to know that he has created a new series called Man Enough. In this male-centered talk show, Justin is joined by a variety of influential men in the industry to have an open discussion revolving around redefining masculinity and sparking a completely open dialogue for both men and women. It features a rotating cast that includes Derek Hough, How to Get Away With Murder‘s Matt McGorry, Hamilton star Javier Muñoz, comedian Bassem Youssef, spoken word artist Prince Ea, transgender activist Aydian Dowling, and mixed martial artist Anderson Silva. The show aims to be a provocative and heartfelt look into the minds of men, as they explore their insecurities, fears and dreams. It explores “what it means to be a man today,” with topics ranging from body image to fatherhood to dating and relationships. The first two episodes have already been released, and so far the series is tackling some massive ideas. From gender norms that have manipulated us from a very young age to why vulnerability is considered weak. Why many men grow up believing that they shouldn’t be crying or expressing emotion as it is considered a form of weakness (which may later result in poor influences of future friendships and relationships), and how all of this affects women as well.
It may seem very common for us to hear overused phrases like “don’t be such a girl” or “grow a pair.” However, these phrases are subtly implanting the idea that in order to be strong, we must be more like men or appear manly. This idea that femininity is bad and masculinity is good is an absurd concept that has yet to be shattered. And ultimately, this is one of the series’ most solid messages. It’s not about being male or female, it’s about finding that balance between both genders because we all have both masculine and feminine energy within us. After all, it’s about being human and what that really entails.
To say that this series is shattering norms and breaking barriers feels like an understatement. What Justin Baldoni has created is a safe and open place for an important conversation, a conversation that, as some of the men in this series suggest, could save lives. With this acceptance and openness, this place free of judgment, it would make you want to continue to watch this series because it’s truly incredible. So watch it, share it, and admire it. And the best part about is, it’s absolutely free to watch online.