A Letter to the Girls with Broken Hearts

No one ever told me that the people who are closest to you will be the ones to destroy your heart: the ones who know your deepest secrets, your darkest desires, and bear witness to the skeletons that hide in your closet.

My parents never warned me that some of my favourite people would become the greatest disappointments in my life. But life did, and it continues to do so every day. As young adults, everyone tends to believe that once you overcome an obstacle, the future will be perfect. We’ve all been there, and each and every one of us has been proven wrong.

We all have our issues, but I am sure that many, if not most of us, have trust issues. Everyone copes differently—some methods work better than others. The point however, is that life has screwed everyone over at least once, and it will continue do to so for the rest of your life. If it hasn’t yet, be on the lookout, because it is coming for you. And you’re going to feel like shit.

Placing your trust into the hands of another person—another human being—is possibly the most intimidating thing you will ever do. Sometimes, the recipient doesn’t handle it with enough care; sometimes, he or she is too careful and cautious. There are a few individuals who are strong enough to let their guards down completely, and dive in head first into a murky body of water. Others, myself included, are not quite there yet, and it is quite possible for us to never fully get there.

A good friend of mine has been going through a lot: dealing with toxic friends, a shitty boyfriend, and so much more. She despises seeking help, depending on others, and sharing her pain with those who care about her. I can’t blame her because I am the exact same way. I have found that receiving indirect consolation and comfort from loved ones will do more good than bad.

With that being said, here is my letter to all the girls with broken hearts.

Dear you,

It gets better. It truly does. Everything that’s happening now feels like it will be for forever. It won’t. You have to push through it, trust that you are strong enough, and believe things will get better.

Friends come and go. You will meet many toxic people. You will keep them in your life for no good reason. You probably have at least one toxic friend that is bringing you down, and making your life negative and miserable. Let them go. They are a waste of space in your life; you are better off without them. It is hard, but trust me on this one: when it comes to your happiness, be ruthless, selfish, and a bitch. They won’t like it, but that’s life. And you will feel better.

You are beautiful, inside and out. That stupid boy of yours is making you depressed, and frankly, I don’t like it. Everyone wants to be loved and feel loved. But as Sarah Kay says in her spoken word poem, “The Type,” “being loved is not the same thing as loving.” She is right. You have so much life and positivity in you, do not let a boy destroy it. He is merely a boy, and you should be searching for a man. Someone who values your time and presence, someone who respects and adores your entire being. You may think you know what it is that you are searching for, but you don’t. You think he will change, but he won’t. He is not the right person for you, not man enough for you—you deserve so much more.

When you finally meet the right person, the one who is able to balance your flaws with his own, you will realize that every significant other in your past were boys, children looking for attention. You will come to understand that loving is a greater gift than being loved, because when you get the chance to meet him, you’ll discover that true love prospers and never fades. Do not shed anymore tears for that boy; he is not what you are looking for and instead, a rock that you thought was a diamond.

Healing fresh wounds comes at a cost--a slow and patient process. Take some time to relieve yourself from the negativity surrounding yourself. Be with yourself, learn about yourself and strengthen the relationships you have been neglecting for a while. Commit to yourself and everything else will fall into place. It won’t be easy, but just know this: you are a woman. You are capable of accomplishing your dreams and more, you have a fire burning inside of you, do not let it die out. I know she still lives in you. You are strong, beautiful, bright and worthy. So, take a deep breath, tuck yourself into bed and shut out the background noise.

Because you are you, and that’s enough.

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