As a gay guy I have never had problems becoming friends with girls, being homosexual makes me less threatening and they had learned from TV/movies and the Internet that they needed a sassy gay friend to complete their Sex and the City lifestyle. Girls would automatically want to go shopping with me even though I find shopping physically excruciating. I’d be constantly reminded how “sassy” and “fierce” I was and whenever they introduced me to people, it was as their “gay bestie”. This was never an issue for me because I was just so happy to be accepted and I knew that the girls I was close with didn’t mean to be offensive. At one point, I even thought they were trying to show their support for the gay community. I had been so conditioned to this behavior that when I found friends who didn’t immediately expect “gay bestie” behavior, I was in shock. I expressed this to one of them and they straight up told me “I don’t care about you being gay, and I don’t think you as my gay friend, I think of you just as my friend.” It was when they said this I realized how the gay BFF attitude of these girls would completely dismiss the individuality of their homosexual friends.
Now before I cause meltdowns and the re-examination of life for anyone who’s ever said this, I realize that there are no ill intentions with these actions and that a lot of these girls are trying to be allies of the LGBT community. I can confidently say most of the people looking for a “gay bestie” are not about to start a defence-against-marriage group or join the West Baptist church. However, you don’t have to be homophobic or even aware of your actions to act ignorantly towards a group. That isn’t to say you can’t have a homosexual friend you do stereotypical Sex and the City activities with. Even if someone exhibits stereotypically homosexual behavior, they still bring their own personal flair to it. Just don’t think that everything they do is credited to them being gay, or expect the same behavior from every homosexual you meet. This behavior is subtle and for the most part unintentional, but it dismisses all the specific reasons you’re friends with them, and dismisses the individual qualities of all gay men. We’re not some accessory to show how progressive you are/hold your shopping bag/tell everyone you have a gay bestie. For the most part these girls honestly like their gay friends because an ideology can’t really keep a friendship going for long once you get to know someone. We get there are no bad intentions, and we appreciate your support. Just make sure to realize these guys are your friends who happen to be gay, not that the friends you choose because they are gay.
 Photo sources
http://taylorschaffer.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/stanford-and-carrie.jp…
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