Frosh week: this is the time of year where school spirit shines the brightest: parades, concerts, chants and so much more. It is a way to truly bond with your faculty, college and university. University of Toronto is highly populated and most of the time, you can easily feel detached from fellow students, professors and the university itself. If you’re a commuter student, the detachment can be more prevalent in comparison to a residence student.
Last year around this time, I too was a frosh. If I’m being completely honest, I did not have too great of a time during frosh week. The hype around the idea of frosh week did not follow through for me. I was miserable, lonely and extremely sad. I lived in a residence that was not the stereotypical dorm. My dorm was apartment-style, which made social interactions more difficult as we did not have any common rooms for the entire floor. Students could not simply knock on another’s door and socialize – it made making friends difficult. This is not to say that I absolutely despised frosh week. I thoroughly enjoyed a majority of the events and met lots of new and interesting individuals from my college, Victoria College. I mean, let’s get real here, it is Vic–the best college at UofT.
Had I had not met a particular friend however, my experience would have been significantly different. This friend, despite not knowing her for very long, helped me through my loneliness and borderline depression. She was the shoulder to cry on. When I had no one to talk to or grab a meal with from the dining hall, she was there in a heartbeat. I swear, I would not have survived frosh week if we hadn’t become quick friends.
The biggest factor for my disappointment with frosh week lies with the hype that surrounded orientation. In high school, it was the only topic that grade 12’s discussed, ever. Even during high school, my former high school acquaintances appeared to be having a blast at their orientation—social media particularly did not help in curing my disappointment. It seemed like everyone was having fun but me. I began to question and scold myself for not clicking with my peers and rapidly making friends. But enough about me and my experience. I present to you the five main things I wish I knew before frosh week!
1. Stress, stress, stress and more stress
While frosh week can be incredibly fun and exciting, you will become stressed. If you are an introvert, this is 100% guaranteed. There is nothing more stressful than meeting new people and not sharing any common interests; small talk only works so far. Not to mention the fact that because there are so many new students, you will forget the majority of the names of people you encounter. To make things worse, sometimes the faces of your peers will blend together. It can get a bit stressful and overwhelming when meeting a slew of people and mentally figuring out which name belongs to who. Stress levels are not as high as exam week, but it is up there.
2. Friends
Frosh week is usually where you will meet the majority of your friends for the year—at least it was for me. O-week is the time to meet as many people as you can and try to form some kind of friendship. However, as fast as the friendship is formed, the faster it will end. I suppose it was the optimism of an incoming frosh but I genuinely believed that all the friends I made during frosh week would be forever. While some friends will stick with you for the year, many will float away once frosh week has come to an end. In fact, the majority of the “friends” you make during O-week will probably become strangers to you—people you bonded with for a fleeting moment during frosh.
3. Loneliness
University can get lonely both physically and emotionally. Everyone is on their own schedules and it is a completely different ballgame from high school. Your friends will not always be doing the same things as you, and they will most definitely not be with you at all times. Life as a frosh will and can get lonely because it feels like everyone is having a great time… without you. TV shows and movies do not do the reality of university justice. There are amazing, exciting moments during frosh week and the year, but a solid 75% of the time, you will feel the overwhelming wave of loneliness. It is rough. The phrase, “loneliness in a crowd full of people” could not be any more accurate. That being said, you will make it work and you will enjoy your university career. It simply takes a bit of readjusting and some self-discovery.
4. Homesick
Along with loneliness, you are bound to get homesick at some point in your first year, if not frosh week. This is particularly true if you have moved from a new city or province… perhaps even a new country. I did not expect homesickness because as a teenager, I desperately desired the opportunity to live alone. In my past travels, I never once missed home or my family; but during frosh week, I was bombarded with a rush of homesickness. It happens to everyone. The best way to cope your homesickness is to either visit home for a weekend (if applicable), or call your parents. Sometimes, hearing their voices can help you enough to remain calm and be hopeful for the future.
5. Freshmen 15
It is a thing: stress + midnight runs to McDonalds + excessive amount of alcohol + residence food. It will happen to you. Be prepared.
Frosh week is what you make of it. As an introvert, I become emotionally tired if I am not able to recharge by myself at the end of the day. For the most part, I am extremely outgoing and social, but I need my down time in order to continue being a social butterfly. It is hard being alone, moving to a new city or country, starting from scratch and reinvesting time into friendships. In a large institution like University of Toronto, being shy and unapproachable will make university life incredibly difficult. You do not have to be a social butterfly or extremely talkative, but you should try stepping out of your shell at the beginning of first year. Talk to the person beside you or join a group of people sitting in the dining hall. In the long run, you will enjoy the experience for what you took out of it.
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