Ah, the dreaded long-distance friendship. The fear of losing your best friend, having your friendship change, and no longer being able to do in-person activities together. Â
Though I’m by no means an expert, I have my fair share of long-distance friendships. Friends who live in distant cities, different provinces, or even in different countries. From time zones to differing schedules, continuing to build meaningful connections with your friends can feel hard. Â
And while it’s absolutely normal to feel upset and worried about how things will change, there are TONS of ways to maintain your friendships and even grow closer! Change can happen in a positive way!
Since the creation of the electric telegraph, long-distance communication has allowed online relationships, of all kinds, to flourish. From text messaging, FaceTime, Google Meets, and many other apps, there is a plethora of communication platforms available to foster long-distance friendships. So even if you don’t have the same devices as your friend, not to worry! Â
During COVID, almost everyone relied on online communication forums to seek personal connection outside of their home, or “safe persons bubble”. People became creative, desperate to develop new fun ways to spend time with one another.
Teleparty, formerly Netflix Party, became popularized as a way for people to watch movies together with an interactive chat element. Instead of timing movies to watch together over the phone, people could send links or invite others using their Netflix account. Teleparty has since become a Chrome extension that works for platforms such as YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, and HBO Max. If you used to have group movie nights or watched your favourite shows together, you still can! You can even combine the teleparty with video chatting to add an in-person feel. Plus if you like to talk during television programs, you can pause the video on your end and it will pause the screen for whoever else is in the teleparty. Â
If music is a shared interest, you can send each other the current music you are listening to. Share a specific song or playlist that is related to a mutually loved artist or compare what you are listening to during your morning commutes. Either way, it can provoke a conversation or let your friend know you continue to share the same interests. Â
One of my favourite ways to spend time with friends is going to get coffee to catch up or studying together; but one aspect of having a long-distance friendship is you can’t do in-person activities together.
Thankfully, even with differing time zones and schedules, you can still make time for your favourite hobbies! Having a planned day dedicated to doing an activity together is easier than you think and there are many ways to do so! For instance, my friend, who lives in Montreal, and I have Bagel Sundays: a Sunday when we make or purchase coffee and a bagel, and have breakfast together over FaceTime. We catch up at a time that works best for us and then go about our days – almost as if we met up at a coffee shop before class. This can happen once or however many times you would like and can be weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly – you make the rules! Â
You can also study while video chatting anywhere! Whether you’re at home, in a coffee shop, or at your university’s library, you can have your phone propped up beside you (or, alternatively, have a video chat open on your laptop).
You and your friends can also share daily or weekly update photos. The “Locket” widget on iPhones allows you to post a daily photo to the app that your friends can see on their home screen.
Alternatively, you can take photos of things that happen in your life – cool things you saw or something you want to share over text at the end of the week. You can leave it at just images, send voice notes or have a call instead of a coffee catch up.
If you have apple watches, you can add each other as friends and can track yourselves on the workout app. By making it a fun competition of who can complete their rings first or even just by checking your friends progress throughout the day, you stay connected in a unique way.
Maintaining a long-distance friendship is an art form. Finding ways to stay connected doesn’t have to be perfect or follow specific rules, it just needs to speak to you.