Far too often, we as adults limit ourselves by avoiding things we perceive to be too challenging or beyond our abilities. We lose the belief we held as children— that we are capable of anything we put our minds to. Of course, part of this shift is simply a natural outcome of growing up. With experience comes a clearer sense of the world’s realities. However, along with this acquired maturity often comes a reluctance to put ourselves out there. We hesitate to try new things. I believe that this is ultimately a detriment to our growth and development.
To grow, we must accept that failure and imperfection are not obstacles, they are essential parts of the journey. Understanding this is the first step towards reclaiming the fearless mindset we had as children.
Do not expect yourself to be good at something on the first try. Do not chase that which does not exist within any human being: perfection. Do not let failure discourage you. Instead, let it fuel your desire to improve. Allow yourself to make mistakes and to fail. These mistakes and failures are not proof of inadequacy, instead, they are what lead to growth. A dancer practices and stumbles through a routine countless times before delivering a performance of a lifetime. A scientist draws the wrong conclusion again and again until they reach a breakthrough.Â
Even on a smaller scale, you do not succeed at your goals without effort and failure. Sometimes things are just difficult and there is simply no way around it. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on trying these things or, worse, never even try at all. Do it scared. Do it confused. So long as you just do it. Take writing as an example. Becoming a strong writer is difficult work… and it’s supposed to be. The frustration when you feel creatively stuck, the endless revisions and drafts, the constant questioning of one’s talent and ability— these are all part of the process. You can’t expect yourself to be a great writer if you avoid the hardships built into the craft. And writing is indeed a craft, which means that it demands consistent honing.Â
Enduring the difficulty involved in gaining a skill or pursuing an aspiration is essential to our personal development. Without this struggle, we remain stagnant. We allow ourselves to be impatient, not understanding that good things take time. We deny ourselves the chance to build mental fortitude and the kind of spirit that seeks to persevere no matter what. Quite frankly, avoiding difficulty, confusion, and discomfort in the name of “simplicity” is not peace, it is fear disguised as self-preservation. Choosing comfort over challenge may feel safe, but it robs you of progress.
Being scared of feeling or seeming incompetent in the pursuit of something arduous is a waste. Embrace the struggle. With time and effort, you will gain confidence and proficiency. What once intimidated you will eventually become second nature, and you will be a better person for having endured it.Â