Your twenties are some of the most amazing, most confusing, and most difficult years of your life. You’re supposed to act like an adult, but you still feel like a kid! Navigating all of these obstacles alone can be extremely overwhelming. I don’t have a big sister to relay back advice and although I am no expert on adulthood (I’m only 3 years in), here are some of the things I wish people told me about growing up.
you don’t have to hate your hometown (but you can)
I spent most of highschool pining to get out of my small town… and I did and it was great. But over the past few years I have realized that there is something special about my life there. It is quiet and calm and easy. My family is there and I love my friends and I even miss it often. It is okay to like your hometown and that took me a few years to learn. I found I was always trying to rebrand myself and get out of the small-town mentality but honestly, I love small towns and it is possible to do both. On the other hand… if you hate your hometown and never want to go back that is also okay. It is hard to know exactly where you are supposed to be and when and that is just because there is no right answer yet; that is up to you to discover.
Allow yourself to love (but don’t settle)
As a self-proclaimed man-eater, I can officially admit that I was just scared. I have always been the type of person to keep my guard up high when it comes to relationships. This can be safe when just getting to know someone but it also acts as a barrier to truly understand someone. I have recently discovered that if you are going to get hurt it is going to happen either way (pessimistic, I know). HOWEVER, with this thought process you might as well put it all on the line. Allow yourself to fall in love, be vulnerable, and learn. By putting your heart fully into something or someone, you are in turn showing yourself that you deserve the kind of love you give others which is extremely important to learn.
Join the club (literally not metaphorically)
This one is pretty straightforward and I am sure you have heard it time and time again. During my first few years of university, I always considered myself as ‘too busy’ for extracurriculars and while I am definitely a busy girl I feel more balanced and well-rounded after joining a club (shoutout Her Campus). It is a great way to get a study break, meet people, explore your passions and get out of the house. There are so many options to choose from and something for everyone.
Good food = good mood
As a broke girl on a budget I hate to be the bearer of bad news but what you eat really can affect your mood (sorry girl dinner). It is so important to fuel your mind and body by balancing food groups. This does not mean you have to have an insane diet or hefty grocery bill – frozen veggies and proteins are just as good. Most importantly just make sure you are listening to what your body wants and needs in order to feel good and keep healthy.
Stay in if you want to (or don’t)
The pressure to go out in university is heavy. FOMO is real and it can be hard to combat, but honestly you are not missing out on anything that won’t happen again. Sometimes a night in is what your body needs and your mind craves and there are no problems with that… in fact, it’ll save you money, time and hangovers. On the other hand you are only young once. If you want to go out, now is the time to do it – get your work done early so you don’t have guilt and enjoy a night out with your friends!
Experiment with friend groups
University is potentially the first and last time of your life that you are in close proximity to hundreds of people in similar situations; take advantage of that. Meet as many people as you can because it is never too late. Reach out to people in your classes, clubs, or spaces. There is no finite amount of friendships, so use this time to make as many connections as you can.
“Slow down, you’re doing fine”
In the wise words of Billy Joel, “slow down, you’re doing fine.” Try to remember even throughout hardships, you are doing great and you are right where you are supposed to be… even if it doesn’t feel like it. Now go off and enjoy your twenties, they’ll be gone before you know it (or at least that’s what they keep telling me).