Just before I start my rant, I just want to mention that this has nothing to do with OC Transpo itself, or drivers and staff that run this service. Even though a lot of people complain, we’re lucky to have you, so thank you! It would be hella hard to get around O-Town without you.
You know that thing we all do? Take the bus? Yeah. Why in the name of the good Lord do people suck at taking the bus? It’s not that hard, folks. It’s really just common sense. How can you possible be bad at getting on a bus and letting it take you somewhere? Here’s how:
1) Headphones. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, headphones!!!! Ain’t nobody want to listen to the terrible rap you mixed in your basement. Do you see Usher on this bus? Yeah, neither do we. You’re not getting discovered on transit. Buy headphones and please use them.
2) While on the topic of headphones, let’s consider a simple fact. If your music is loud enough that someone around you can hear it, what’s the point of your headphones? Headphone has the word head in it…as in ONE head. Yours. Even if I love that One Direction song, chances are someone on the bus is fantasizing about throat punching you.
3) Seen these ads yet? They’re bloody brilliant! I really wasn’t planning on tasting your backpack every time the bus bounced. Please take it off. It’s easier for you to have it on the ground anyway. Why would you hold that monstrosity on your back for an hour-long ride?
4) I get it, sometimes we get sweaty; it’s a thing human’s do. But as a general rule, you should consider showering before getting on the bus and making everyone smell your B.O.
5) No, no kind Sir. I do not want to talk politics/religion/personal life matters/anything at all with you. These headphones are on for a reason. Go away.
6) If you could not stand right in front of the doors as people get on and off, that would be great. I don’t care if you’re getting off in two stops. Go sit down, and then take the extra five steps to get off. I know, I’m asking a lot, eh? Or if you really feel like it’s your life calling to stand in that spot, get off the bus to let others off, and then promptly get back on. I promise the bus won’t leave without you. And even if it does, it wouldn’t be the worst thing…
7) Why?! There are a million other empty seats on this bus. I super don’t want to move my 5000 bags for you. Go sit over there!!!
8) You’re Skyping?! Really?!
9) Dearest everyone at the Park’N’Ride, this is not a mosh pit. Back off. I was here first. Did you know in Montreal people wait in line to get on the bus? Like straight up a line, one after the other. Why can we not do that here?
10) Bro, you’re not special. You don’t get to get on the bus before people get off. Wait all of 15 seconds.
10) Okay, you didn’t make it to the door in time and now the bus is starting to move. Your life has not ended. Stop screaming; “STOP!” at the top of your lungs. The bus driver didn’t catch your telepathic signals and doesn’t know where you and every other homeboy on this bus are getting off. Relax. Worst case, you walk a block, or even then, you can just cross the street and take the exact same bus in the other direction. You will be okay. Deep breathes.
Happy Travels! Comment below and tell us what bus habits bother you?