Trigger Warning: explicit and/or sexual language and sexual content
Some people really like sex. Some people have a lot of sex. Contrary to popular belief – THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by institutional sex negativity.
If you’re unsure of what sex negativity is, here are a few examples that come up often in society:
- Have you ever heard someone been called a “slut”, “whore” or “hoe”?
- Have you ever felt ashamed because you had any sort of sexual encounter either in a relationship or not?
- Have you ever heard a stereotype around sex, virginity or desire? (such as; Don’t Have Sex or Else You’ll Get Pregnant and DIE!)
- Have you ever felt judged because of what you wear?
- Would you rather die before saying words like semen, vagina or clit?
As much as it sucks, I can bet that you probably have heard/felt/seen sex negativity and slut shaming in society. Did you hear about Kim Kardashian’s naked selfie that was circulating the internet? There was a lot of backlash that she faced for ‘exposing herself’, ‘being indecent’, and all sorts of other reasons. Here is a woman expressing herself sexually on her own terms and she is demonized for it. In a world that constantly hypersexualizes women (especially women of colour), being sexual can lead to a lot of negative comments or attacks – sometimes even physical attacks or punishment if a woman is believed to have dishonoured her family because of her sexuality.
There are many ways that you can fight the patriarchal norms that lead to sex negativity. If someone makes a rape joke; speak up (if you feel like you are safe enough to do so). Rethink the language you use when discussing sexual activity, outfits and relationships. A personal’s sexual activity does not concern you. Also remember that not everyone wants to have sex all the time, or ever, and that is their personal decision so you have to/need to respect that. Consent is necessary. No means NO.