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U Ottawa | Wellness > Mental Health

Learning to Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely

Sara Trepanier Student Contributor, University of Ottawa
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Ottawa chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I know a lot of you are social busy girls who, like me, are always on the go. However, sometimes, when I’m alone and have finished my to-do list for the day, I don’t know what to do with myself and start to feel lonely. This semester, I had to learn how to be more independent and understand that having free time doesn’t mean everyone else has it too. Everyone is on their own version of the “grind,” and I had to find ways to keep myself occupied without relying on others. Through trial and error, I’ve learned how to use my extra time in ways that feel fulfilling rather than lonely.

1. Taking CAre of myself

When I have a few extra minutes on my hands, the very first thing I try to do is take care of myself. Whether that is physically or mentally, I make an effort to take that extra step to make myself feel good. This can look like heading to the gym, painting my nails, taking an everything shower, or even styling my hair. Taking this intentional time for myself always has a positive effect on the rest of my day and helps me feel more grounded.

2. Going back to the roots

When I really don’t know what to do, I try to think back to the activities I used to enjoy as a kid or even before starting university. These familiar activities often make it easier to enjoy my own company. This weekend was especially calm for me, so with the extra time, I baked cookies, played board games with my family, and actually sat down to watch a movie—which I hadn’t done in forever. Going back to pre-university activities helps fill the gaps in my schedule while also allowing me to unwind and do something that genuinely brings me joy.

3. Enjoying time with myself and others

As I’ve mentioned before, I truly enjoy spending time with others, so being alone in silence can be challenging for me. Even if you’re not willing or able to commute, there are always people in your life who miss you and would love to talk or catch up. Picking up your phone and calling someone you’ve been thinking about can be surprisingly healing. If those loved ones aren’t available, it’s important to still do something for yourself. Watching your favorite show, making your favorite drink, taking a bubble bath, or picking up a book you’ve been meaning to read can turn alone time into something comforting. Learning to do what you love and appreciating moments of solitude has helped me enjoy being alone rather than fear it.


Learning to be alone has taught me that free time isn’t something to fear, but something to embrace. By taking care of myself, reconnecting with old hobbies, and finding comfort in simple moments, I’ve started to see solitude as fulfilling rather than lonely. Sometimes, the best company you can have is your own.

Sara Trepanier is a second-year Bachelor of Commerce student at the Telfer School of Business at the University of Ottawa, pursuing a double concentration in Human Resources and Marketing.

Sara currently works as a Project Assistant at the Public Service Commission of Canada and as a Digital Merchandising Coordinator at a sports store in her area. Her professional experience also includes roles as a junior financial officer at the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), an HR assistant at Housing, Infrastructure and Communities Canada (HICC), a receptionist and administrative assistant at a martial arts dojo, and a customer service representative at a local bakery. Across these positions, she has developed strong organizational, analytical, communication, and interpersonal skills, along with a deep appreciation for both employee engagement and customer experience.

Active and social, Sara has a background in hockey, volleyball, and martial arts. She now stays fit at the gym and enjoys all things girly—makeup, skincare, and fashion. She values time with family and friends while also expressing her creativity through reading, writing, journaling, and scrapbooking.

Sara aims to graduate by 22 and build a career that balances passion and flexibility while prioritizing health, well-being, and personal growth.