As someone who has been going to school in a different city than most of my closest friends for three years now, I have had my fair share of experiences with sadness and wishing that we were together. While holidays and summer vacations always bring us together again, the months in between are often lonely and somber.
However, no matter how sad I can be about my friends living five hours away, I know that I have to make do with the distance no matter what. So, for those of you who have companions in far-off destinations, here are a few tips I have picked up over my time as a certified Long Distance Bestie.
1. try different forms of communication
While texting and the odd phone call seem to be the main ways that I stay connected to my long-distance friends, due to the sheer ease of it, it can get a little boring at times. Remaining consistent in how often you talk to a person is greatly important, but shaking up how you do it can bring excitement into a friendship and even create new ways to bond. For instance, when my friend Isla sends me an Instagram reel with the caption “this reminded me of you”, it makes me feel so seen and loved. Then, I spend the next forty minutes finding more to send back. Over the 7 years we’ve been friends, this has always been a sure-fire method to creating new inside jokes and even expressing how much we love each other. It doesn’t have to be complex memes, either; it can be as easy as sending a postcard or a little video of yourself talking.
2. Don’t skip the “boring” anecdotes
There is something so intimate and special about sharing small moments with someone you love. Things that might be considered insignificant to the untrained eye can mean the absolute world to someone else. Sometimes, the best notes you can receive from a friend consist of photos of random things that they’ve encountered throughout their day, or even the simplest message about what they’re up to. Recently, my friend Annabelle and I have taken to updating each other on the current weather happenings of our respective cities. It may seem silly, considering the existence of the weather app, but I love to wake up to texts about how much snow Toronto did (or did not) receive during the night.
3. revisit shared memories
One of my favourite activities is going through my old photos. It’s almost a cathartic thing, being able to visualise how much has changed (or stayed exactly the same, like my inability to pose in formal pictures). Since we were both admitted to different universities, my good friend Katie and I have made it a habit of discussing old high school stories or people from our pasts, in the least gossip-y way possible; it mostly consists of regretted haircuts and silly selfies from our shared classes. Sending these memories to friends may seem counter-productive, as it could just make you miss them more, but it also helps inspire ideas for hangouts and excursions in the future.
4. Get excited about future plans
If you know me at all, you know that I absolutely love to plan a function. I’ve always been the “spreadsheet friend”; the one who keeps track of details for group dinners, birthday celebrations, and trips over school breaks. This tip does work in tandem with #3, as you can use the joy of old memories to create ideas for new ones. Half the time that the plans for a hangout begin materialising, it’s because I’ve been reminded of something fun in the past. As of late, I have been secretly deliberating about the trip that my friends and I want to take over the winter reading week in 2026. This was sparked by me finding a video of my friend Jack being scared by an animatronic at Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not Museum in Niagara Falls, where we spent our last reading week trip.
5. anticipate the Loneliness
That sounds unnecessarily dark, but it is a true fact of life. Even with constant communication, the strain of a long-stance friendship can weigh you down greatly. More often than not, when I’m alone in my room listening to Phoebe Bridgers and contemplating my life, there is nowhere that I’d rather be than in a living room back home, chatting with my friends about absolute nonsense. It’s important to remember, though, that distance does not equate to disinterest. In fact, 9 times out of 10, if I text one of my friends an “I miss you :(“, they’ll shoot one right back at me, with promises to see each other soon. So, if you’re up at the wee hours and in your feelings about how much you miss your buddies, there’s a good chance that they are too. Be there for each other until the distance closes!
Closing thoughts
If there’s one thing that I need you to know, gentle reader, is that you are not alone. Long-distance friendships are a common fact of university life, as well as adult life in general. Half of my parents’ closest friends live in all corners of the country, yet they still make time to check in and chat with them when time allows.
Now, go message your long-distance friend a cute text about how much you’re thinking of them – I’m 100% positive that they would love to hear it!