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Hey Holly: The Awkward Fifth Wheel

Hey Holly,

I live with four other girls and they are paired off in sets of best friends. We are all friends, but sometimes it leaves me with no one. I feel left out because they would always rather spend time with each other than with me. What do I do?

Sincerely, Awkward Fifth Wheel

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Dear Awkward Fifth Wheel,

Having roommates can be hard, you may not agree with a chore chart, they may leave their laundry in the dryer too long, or they may leave their dishes in the sink for days. The most challenging part of roommates is the aspect of friendship. If you get too close and have a fight, the whole dynamic will be off, but if you don’t get close at all, you’ll set up an uncomfortable home environment for yourself; it’s a difficult balance to find.  

When you have a group of five, odds are one person will be left out and it’s unfortunate that you find that person to be you. The best way to combat feeling like you’re the odd man out is to focus on your friendships outside of your roommates. If you create stronger friendships with classmates or people from extracurricular activities you can find yourself an extra friend. If anything, you can suggest more group inclusive roommate activities, like all of you watch a movie, or eat a meal together, to form a more family-like feeling in your house.

In my opinion, the best way to live in a house in which you feel like you don’t totally belong is to spend time with yourself. What’s better than getting to be yourself? You need to enjoy the alone time this house dynamic has given you, and take it for what it’s worth!

I hope this helps.

Holly xo 

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