September 23rd marked Celebrate Bisexuality Day (CBD), right in the middle of ‘Bisexual Awareness Week,’ which runs from September 20th to 26th. Although I believe that every day should be a day to celebrate bisexuality, as more of my friends and peers become openly involved in the bisexual community, the more I realize how many people are not aware of what it truly means to identify as a bisexual person. Like many things people do not fully understand, bisexuality often becomes misconstrued, leaving people who identify as bisexual to be painted with stereotypes, and to deal with biphobia.
To help shine some light on bisexuality, and to keep CBD going 365 days a year, I’ve written out the 10 things to know about the bisexual girl in your life.
This is NOT ‘just a phase’No, she is not just going through a phase of experimentation. It has taken a lot of time, personal reflection, and courage to be true about who she is, so do not belittle her by saying she is just “confused” or “experimenting”.
No She Will Not Have a Threesome with YouA person’s bisexuality does not make them open to every sexual fantasy that may pop into your head. Yes, maybe she will have a threesome if she consents to it, and it is something she is open to, but her bisexuality does not make her anymore open to experimentation than a straight or gay person.
Just because she is in a relationship with someone from one gender, does not make her automatically lose attraction to other genders
If she is in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex, or opposite sex, it does not mean she has magically decided to be straight or gay. All this means is that she has found a person, and they have found her, and they have decided to DTR. That is it. She will still like boys, and she will still like girls, the only difference is now she has a constant bae for ‘Netflix and Chill’ time.
She is not a switchShe is not something you can “turn” one way or the other. One of the most disheartening sentences is when someone hears a person is bisexual, and their first instinct is to push them towards ‘straight’ or ‘gay’. Did you not just hear her? She’s BISEXUAL.
She does not come with a graph
Sorry to break it, but there is no mathematical formula or pie chart for breaking down how bisexual someone is. Her attraction to one gender or another is not simply summed up in numbers.
She isn’t attracted to EVERYONE
Just like a straight male isn’t attracted to all females, and a gay female isn’t attracted to all women, a bisexual girl is not going to be attracted to every single person she sees. Her sexuality does not automatically make her more promiscuous, nor does it make her ‘greedy’, or more likely to cheat.
She may be scared to tell youComing out as bisexual, and being open about who you really are is not only incredibly courageous, but can sometimes be just as frightening too. Help her feel more comfortable in being open about her true self by giving her unconditional love and support.
She may need some help ‘finding her place’
Many bisexuals find it hard to find their place within the straight community, as well as within the LGBTQ community. Bisexuals also face adversities, and are subject to unwarranted attacks from those who choose to practice ‘biphobia’. Help her to combat this by educating yourself, as well as by making her feel less ‘out of place’ in her community (if she seeks your help).
SHE IS A PERSONThe most important thing to remember is that she is a PERSON, no matter what her sexual orientation might be. In fact, take this as a general note for people of all races, gender, sexual orientation, and every walk of life. People are people, so treat them like people, and when it comes to their sexuality, mind your own business!