Turns out I’m one of the many women with ADHD who flew under the radar… until adulthood.
My Experience with ADHD
In elementary school and most of high school, I was always quiet in class and never disruptive. I’d daydream constantly or doodle all over my work. I was naturally smart, so getting good grades was a breeze. At home, I’d get called “lazy” and was often scolded for forgetting my wallet or house keys on a frequent basis.
Once I moved out for university, I lost control. My procrastination habits, poor financial management, and inability to stay organized became too overwhelming. I’d forget to eat or drink during the day, and I’d go to sleep as late as possible in an attempt to push back the next day’s responsibilities. I’d compare myself to my high-achieving, organized, and successful best friend, wondering why it came so easily to her and why I had to try so hard. After a few short-lived romantic escapades, I felt empty and insecure. I was unable to regulate my emotions, cried every day, and genuinely hated myself.
I started seeing a counsellor during this time and she mentioned that I likely had ADHD, which pushed me to get a professional assessment done. As I researched the symptoms in women, I was filled with hope and relief. I’d never related to something more. It felt like an explanation for my “squirrel brain,” my chronic low self-esteem, my forgetfulness, and my poor organizational skills. Fast forward a few months and a psychiatrist confirmed that I in fact have ADHD!
What This Could Mean for You
ADHD often goes undiagnosed in women because the symptoms present differently than in men. Due to the most common depiction of ADHD—a hyper, loud little boy who can’t sit still—no one (including myself) had ever suspected I could have it too. Women tend to have less hyperactive and socially disruptive symptoms, which means we suffer in silence until balancing the demands of school and adulthood becomes impossible.
While content about ADHD is becoming increasingly common on social media (especially on TikTok), it’s often portrayed as being “fun” and “quirky.” There are many positive aspects of ADHD, but it’s important to raise awareness about the negative symptoms, which can be debilitating if left untreated.
Since finding out about my ADHD, I feel like I can embrace my most authentic self—instead of masking my behaviour and internalizing my frustrations, and I’m no longer in a dark place! Having access to support and starting medication has genuinely saved my life.