We always have one or two people in our life who never know where they stand. Do they like us or maybe they actually hate our guts? If they don’t like you, why are they always in your business and pretend to care about you? Most of us, especially us girls, don’t even realize if we have frenemies, but they are so easy to spot. They are the ones who like to gossip about you or give you fake compliments. When something goes wrong in your life they are the first one to bad mouth you or to give you the most ridiculous advice you ever heard. Nobody has time or energy to deal with people who are mean-spirited and phony to them. If you know that you have one to many frenemies in your life, here are a few tips on how to deal with them.
1- Trust yourself
No one can tell you who you have to hang around with so you have to trust your own instincts to figure out if a certain person is a great influence on you or not. When referring to influencing, it doesn’t mean the person is making you do bad things. It means someone who knows how to uplift your spirit when you’re feeling down or, on the other end of the spectrum, someone who doesn’t mind breaking you down even more. A frenemy loves to put you down for her personal pleasures because she likes to see other people’s misery. A frenemy is master of manipulation and brings the very worst out of a person. Life is hard as it is, you don’t need to hang around a person with negative energy.
2- Talk to a real friend
Even though we can always rely on our instincts, it never hurts to have a second opinion. Especially from people you know are your true friends. If you really think you have frenemies, talk to a friend you can trust. Ask them if they’ve heard someone throwing you shades, because you have some majors suspicions. Ask them for their advice; perspectives on the situation. The different perspectives will help you understand the relationship you share with the “friend” in question and will help you make a quicker, informed decision.
3- Confrontation
We are adults, we don’t have time to play the ‘she said, he said’ game. Once you are sure about the identity of your frenemy, don’t be afraid to go talk to them. Tell the person how you feel. Don’t act all vulnerable and sad around the individual, show them that their words and actions don’t affect you. Most likely, the frenemy will deny or act all surprise about the “accusations”. They will either own up or pretend that they have no idea what you’re talking about. In the latter case, they will ignore your “warning” and continue with their bad behaviour. Or, they will get angry and refuse take responsibility about anything. In either case, you will clearly see threw their game.
4- Making a hard decision
Once you talked to your dear “friend’, give them a chance to change their way. It’s impossible for anyone to change their personality in an instant especially frenemies who are used to spreading negativity around them. If the person is truly your friend, he or she will make the effort and later on talk to you about it and even apologize. They probably won’t change their way. You must be ready to cut the ties for your own good. You will have to forgive and forget…
Picture Credits:
Cover picture, 1, 2, 3