Not only is the falling snow a constant reminder of the long, dreary, cold winter months up ahead, we have finals to study for. With that comes stress, anxiety, tense muscles and a lack of ‘me’ time. It is not wonder many of us, women and men, get… well… horny. With such a high concentration of potential mates on campus, the thought is practically impossible to ignore. So, sometimes, when you’re studying with that cutie, things start to heat up. What do you do? Rush to a bed, or be unconventional and do right it right then and there on campus?
Having sex on campus: maybe it’s a thought that has never crossed your mind, or maybe it has… a lot. Now, don’t be prudish, you clicked on the title, so this article will satisfy your dirty curiosity. (Don’t worry, no thirsty comments included.)
Excluding residences, there are surprisingly many spots on campus that could allow you to do your dirty deed in privacy. However, it is important to remember that there are more than 900 surveillance cameras on campus, meaning, that unless you want a security guard to see your erotic experience, you better make sure none are near by. Be aware that we also have over 100 emergency buttons on campus, whether it be in classrooms, hallways, bathrooms or outside, so there is always a way to be in contact with the protection office if things get out of hand.
Empty Classrooms
That being said, evenings, when most administrative employees are done work, are the best times to go into classrooms. It’s actually a great way to find study areas other then common areas like the library or overpasses. You simply need to look at the schedule by the door and see when the classroom is booked. Once the classroom and the adjacent hallway are empty, the setting could not be better.
The Library
So maybe classrooms aren’t thrilling enough for you, or you don’t have time to search for an empty classroom. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Two words: Morisset Library. How kinky is it to have sex in such a serious place, surrounded by literature? On a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a 9. Some of you might think it’s impossible, especially during finals. Well, you are wrong. Last year, as a young innocent freshman, I walked into the women’s bathroom and found a used condom in one of the stalls. May I also precise that it was on the fifth floor, during the first week of finals? Pretty sure it wasn’t the first time it ever happened in the library.
Your Office
Any teacher assistants or club members reading this article? If you have a key to an office, you probably have it best. Putting aside that you would probably lose your key privileges if you were caught, it’s fairly easy to find a place on campus to fool around. Role-playing is also at its prime in an office. I’m thinking the boss and the assistant. Obviously, the girl would be the boss.
The Pool
Now, for you sporty gals, I can’t imagine the thought of doing it on the football field has never crossed your mind. However, winter in Canada doesn’t really give us the option to take our clothes off outside. Luckily, we have a great alternative that is our Olympic size pool! Now, I’m not telling you to break in and risk getting in serious trouble if you get caught. But it’s possible.
Basements
Basements are not the most popular places to be on campus. Actually, many of you might have realized we sometimes have a basement of the basement (ground 00). It really seems like uOttawa absolutely loves basements, and that’s splendid. Why? Because when they’re empty, we get frisky!
I’d like to take this time to remind everybody that during this cuddle season, stay safe and wear condoms! The Health Promotion office and the Women’s Resource Centre are always there to answer any questions you may have and can support you in more ways than one. Need lube, condoms or a pregnancy test? They’ve got it all for free, no questions asked.