You can’t control what happens to you during your lifetime. You’ll never know the challenges that you’ll face when you’re suddenly staring down some life-altering event. On the outside, it’s easy for people to realize that physical disabilities mediate the activities that some people can do. The purpose of this article isn’t to draw attention away from visible phsyical disabilities, but to enlighten readers on the challenges that people face with certain physical illnesses that may not be noticeable right away. My experiences stem from having unnoticeable internal damage, chronic pain, and bowel dysfunction. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all invisible physical disabilities are of this caliber. Many others include auditory dysfunction, diabetes, Celiac disease, and more.
I don’t want to flat out say that people with physical disabilities put more energy into schooling than students in a more fortunate health situation, but I do believe that I need to work harder than the average student in order to do well in university because of these limitations I face on a daily basis. Luckily, we actually have programs at uOttawa like SASS and the Centre for Students with Disabilities to help us through this huge adjustment. Even though this help is appreciated and makes things that much easier for us, it doesn’t fix the feeling that students like me will never be “normal” and always have to think twice about certain things no one else would bother contemplating. Ever since an accident that left a large portion of my digestive tract damaged beyond repair, I have the washroom issue. Not only was it embarassing at first to constantly have to get up during class with all eyes fixated on the door closing loudly behind me, but I’d find myself missing crucial details while I was away for sometimes ten minutes at a time. Of course, there are always technogical aids to help with issues like these, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about these things happening in the first place. Every day I find myself disadvantaged on campus, in the classroom, during academic testing, and I’m sure eventually in the workplace. I starve myself before lab exams, feel faint during midterms, and miss crucial lecture material during class. I’m always eyeing the nearest exit or worrying about forgetting my pain medication, never truly engaged in the material that the professor is teaching. Here, students with hidden physical illnesses are left to always go that extra mile in order to fully obtain the university experience, which is actually much more exhausting than you would think.
When we think of university, we usually think of its learning aspect. We think of students with special reccommendations needing extra time on tests and the “privelidge” to leave class for fresh air/any other medically appointed reason. We don’t fully understand how these students got here in the first place, though. Something very important to note, however, is that just because a phsycial illness cannot be easily noticed doesn’t mean that these students are not in need of support. You do not get to roll your eyes when you see me, supposedly fully functional, walking out of car parked in a handicapped parking. A lot of students like me have the constant burden of reassuring people that our disabilities are real. We’re left to defend our own title of being disabled when put into question while at the same time not wanting to disclose information about our health due to the already existent stigma with visible disabiltiies. It’s an unfortunate in-between that we stand in when we’re put on the spot in these situations, but it doesn’t change the pain or fatique we have to deal with. Talking with someone who questions whether your disability is a “real one” just because it’s invisible is something I would never wish upon anyone.
At the end of the day, I guess the main question we and the people around us ask is, “How do you do it? How can you live with an invisible physical disability and act so normal?” Well, the truth is, we’ll never be normal. As the years go on, we just learn what we can and can’t do. We learn that sometimes we’ll need to be alone in our bedrooms for hours at a time to recuperate from draining classes and social acitvities. We learn to take our medication everywhere in our backpacks and what foods make us keel over in pain more than others. We learn that there will be some friends in our lives who don’t understand the challenges we face on a daily basis and that it may be best to cut some ties. We learn how to prioritize our energy because goddamn, is it ever a precious commodity. We’ve lost so much in our lives, but one thing we’ve all gained is the perserverance to adapt to any environment. Most importantly, we all have goals in mind that we’ll never stop striving towards just because of a few health setbacks. So, cheers to seeing the bigger picture of who we will become; I know all of us do.
Sources: Cover Photo, 1