8 Struggles of Looking For Summer Jobs

Guys, I’m so tired of applying for summer jobs. I know you are too.
 
1- Experience/Requirements: "107 years of experience, sexy model body, cooler than everyone else on the planet, and can do work while in a plank position." For real? Who is this superhero machine you’re looking to hire? Stop asking for the moon.
 
 
2- Cover Letters: Am I the only one who’s started using the same cover letter and just changing a couple words here and there? Blah blah, I'm the best, blah blah, hire me. Could you just read my freaking resume instead please? It’s there, I swear.
 
 
3- Websites That Suck. Hard.: You know what? I change my mind. I’m not applying for this job. Why? BECAUSE YOUR STUPID WEBSITE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE UPLOADING THE .PDF OF MY RESUME. You’re the actual worst.
 
 
4- Websites Again: If you ask me to fill out every little individual sections on my schooling, every job, volunteer experience, and bowel movement I’ve had, you better be offering me a kickass salary. There’s no need for this!! I’ve uploaded my resume!!! READ IT.
 
 
5- The Pay: Okay, I’m desperate for a job because I need money for school, you jackass. Not because I want to get you your morning coffee on my own dime. Stop offering non-paid internships.
 
 
6- Location: Everywhere but where you’re living this summer. trololololol.
 
 
7- Time: Holy crap this is actually so time consuming. I feel like I’ve been doing this forever.
 
 
8- The Dreaded Email: OMG you got an email from that company you applied for! This is exciting. You promptly open the email hoping they’ve asked to set up an interview. NOPE. LOL. NICE TRY, YA LOSER. The position has been filled. Thanks for applying though.
 
 
Have you found a summer job yet?
 
 
References:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9