If you’re a student at the University of Ottawa you’ve likely come across the same type of guys in the cafeteria, in your classes and at the gym. This article is going to outline the top eight different guys you’re bound to see walking around on Gee-Gee territory with the help of the boys from New Girl. Granted, as a small disclaimer, not all boys will fit into any one of these categories and some boys will fit in more than one, I leave it to your discretion collegiettes™!
1. The Telfer Guy
The most important aspect of this guy is that he is in Telfer. He can often be seen wearing a suit to class, and there’s a high probability of him already owning a briefcase. He is more than likely in one of the business school’s clubs like Enactus or Casco. He spends a lot of time in Desmarais because he knows full well, just like the rest of us, the Telfer School of Management has the coolest building, and besides, it has the Starbucks. He takes a huge amount of pride being in his faculty and hopes to be the CEO of some fortune 500 company someday. This guy has no time for anything because has he mentioned he’s in Telfer?
2. The Hometown Guy
This guy will claim that he’s “from here” or “from the area” which really could mean any one of these places: Kanata, Nepean, Orleans, Stittsville, Manotick, etc. He realistically only spends about a tenth of his actual time downtown, which is why he created a school schedule with all his classes right after one another. He frequents the bus stop, even though he probably has a car but just doesn’t want to deal with downtown traffic. He still has most of his high school friends because they all go to uOttawa with him, and he goes home every night to his childhood bedroom. He’ll have no idea what to say when you’re talking to him about buying your own groceries or going to a laundromat because he ain’t ‘bout that life.
3. The Hipster Guy
This guy likes Bridgehead coffee and likes the fact that it’s fair trade and organic, even more. He can be seen wearing button-up collared shirts, any type of beanie, large-framed glasses and he probably has a set of giant headphones permanently hung around his neck. He wears nice scarves in the wintertime and doesn’t own a parka, as a peacoat is the only outdoor attire this guy can be seen sporting. The hipster guy of uOttawa watches all his movies at ByTowne and has grown his hair long enough to put it in a nicer messy bun than the one atop your head.
4. The Guy’s Guy
This guy is no stranger to the Draft Pub, nor to toonie Tuesdays at 1848. It’s extremely likely this guy has anywhere from one to eight roommates and that they are all guys. He and his friends epitomize the target audience of every beer commercial ever. He’s probably not good at hockey, but he and his friends will play in the Sandy Hill Winter Classic. You’ve definitely seen more than one Barshots photo of him and his friends and, he probably owns at least two plaid shirts.
5. The “He Doesn’t Even Go Here!” Guy
BFOS, i.e: boys from other schools. That’s what this guy is; he’s a boy from another school. He’s likely from Carleton or Algonquin College, yet he tends to frequent our campus. His allure is that he is from a different school, which for some reason makes him way more endearing that anyone who actually attends uOttawa. He likes to go to 1848, he may even like to study in Morisset, but we’re not sure what the appeal to our campus may be. I mean we don’t even have tunnels, so why are you here?
6. The Gee-Gee Guy
This guy is athletic or at least, he appears to be. There’s a possibility he’s on a varsity team, there’s an even higher possibility that he rides the bench on said team. If this guy isn’t wearing his Gee-Gee gear, then he’s wearing his high school team swag. If he’s not on an actual university team, he’s committed to the gym or his intermural team, which he takes extremely seriously. He can be seen around campus, specifically Montpetit, carrying his gym bag to and from every class, yet he is rarely spotted with a book bag, but in all fairness he may very well keep his books in his gym bag.
7.The Super Involved Guy
This guy probably has his face plastered all over campus when it’s election time. His interests are model parliament, student government, actual parliament, and the actual government. You’ve probably seen him in front of one of your lectures making a speech about his campaign platform. He is always on campus but you never see him. He’s always in the library but never in class. He is a living and breathing fannee doolee (shoutout if you watched Zoom and know what that is). When this guy is in class he talks with the professor and asks a lot of questions. Super involved guy is probably in social sciences and taking political science, international development, economics, global studies, or some combination of those.
8. The Promo Guy
You have this guy on Facebook and his profile is just a running advertisement for whatever club he bartends at. His cover photo? Bar promotion. His last status update? Bar promotion. His tagged photos? Barshots, where he’s bartending in the bar he promotes. His posts probably remind you that: a) it’s the weekend, b) that as a university student you have the undying need and right to party, and c) he’s working this day, this day and this day. He’s fun and always the life of the party, but really only fun when you’re in the mood to party as much as he is. But, hey, message him for guestlist!
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