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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mich chapter.

Well, we did it, friends. Another year in the books, and another year of an inevitable three-week period of time where I’ll refuse to unpack my clothing from the several garbage bags cluttering my floor and instead spend 40+ minutes in the morning searching for the pocket in which I packed all of my underwear. There’s something really eerie about coming home to the same room every year, the room that has a desk still cluttered with pictures from bar mitzvah photo booths, a bed sporting the same tie-dye comforter I’ve had since I was six, and a rack of gymnastics medals from the days where I chose to spend 15+ hours a week prancing around in a leotard and realizing I desperately needed to purchase my first deodorant. In three weeks it’s my 21st birthday, my 18-year-old sister is going to college next year, my puppy is now a dog, and I’ve slowly began to realize my mom is approaching me for advice, instead of the other way around. Some of my best friends are graduating, and I can’t help but notice that time is FLYING. You’re probably like, “Becca–shut up. We all know. We all know time is flying.” The carousel keeps spinning, Holden Caulfield, time is inevitable; whatever I get it–we get it. We’ve heard it, like, 193,812 times.

 

 

The thing about time and this ever so nostalgic time of the year is that I always find myself reflecting, looking back on what’s happened so far, fantasizing about what lies ahead and dreading what’s to come all at the same time. But, nonetheless, I’m always questioning whether or not I lived up to the expectations I’d set for myself. Did I do it right? Did I do my junior year right? While all of my friends were traveling the world – I stayed back in Ann Arbor. Was that right? Maybe. Maybe not.

 

Maybe you’re graduating, maybe you just finished your freshman year, or perhaps you’ve been fumbling through your first year of post-grad life. Regardless of where you are in this whirlwind some refer to as “young adulthood” (I call it “older childhood”), I’m willing to bet you’re asking yourself these same questions. The thing about doing it right is that it doesn’t even have to be a question of large importance; it can be something as small as what you order at a restaurant. You go for dinner; your friend gets a burger and you get a salad. This might be an all too familiar, sad tale for some, but it doesn’t have to be sad. “You did it right,” you say. But, why is your salad wrong? Maybe you really wish you were eating the burger, but you’re trying to eat healthier so you get the salad. It’s a give and take scenario, delaying immediate gratification for the possibility of a more rewarding long-term one. It’s a game we play in various forms nearly every single day.

Because the thing about doing life truly “right” should have nothing to do with your friends’ expectations, your mom’s approval, or what society has decided to praise this year (ALTHEISURE FOREVER, THOUGH). Doing it right has to do with your own sense of happiness and your own approval of your choices. There’s no right way of ordering at a restaurant, of doing college, of experiencing life. There’s about a 1,000,000 different ways to do it right, and minimal ways to screw it up – minimal ways to screw up? Please, tell me more!
 
The only way to do it wrong is if you come to realize that the choices you’re making are repeatedly sacrificing the one thing that means the most us during our admittedly selfish “older childhood” stage of life: our overall happiness. Sometimes we can’t make the choice that’s going to make us happiest at that immediate moment. Maybe you have to stay in and study for your exam instead of enjoying your last night out with your friends. Maybe you don’t even get the A, but just because your trade-off didn’t work out the way you’d hoped this time, doesn’t mean you did it wrong. From now until forever and ever we’ll be faced with choices, some as big as the job we take after college or the person we marry in our new city (shrieks), to as seemingly trivial as our restaurant order. We might not always be happiest with our decisions, we may even regret a few (or a lot), but just because you realize the option you picked sucked doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. The only way you’re doing it wrong is if you refuse to acknowledge when the choices you make are making you consistently unhappy. Until you’re obliviously unaware of your own emotions, until you’re repeatedly screwing yourself over and refusing to acknowledge your own discontent, you’re doing it right. Don’t regret the way you’ve gone about things; be thankful that you can recognize when the choice you made wasn’t the one that could have made you the happiest. In this giant game of give and take that we’ll be playing forever, your best bet to constantly doing it right is to consistently reflect on your own approval. Are you happy? Amazing. Are you pissed? Awesome. Regardless of whether the response is positive or negative, if you can recognize both of these things based off of your own decision-making, you’re absolutely doing it right. Congrats.