Growing up, your 20s seem like the time when everything should be falling into place—internships, full time jobs, relationships—it’s the pressure nobody prepares you for. You become independent and make your own decisions in pretty much every aspect of life. Once you actually reach your 20s, though, there’s an overwhelming number of expectations that come with them. You’re supposed to enjoy being young, but at the same time you’re expected to make decisions that could change the rest of your life. Your 20s are filled with contradictory expectations that can make it really difficult to appreciate where you’re at in the moment.
There’s an unspoken pressure to know exactly what you want to do with your life before you’ve even experienced adulthood. If you’re anything like me, you feel the immense pressure of choosing career paths, pursuing jobs and internships, writing resumes, and making long-term plans. It’s so strange how we have our whole lives ahead of us, yet every decision feels so permanent: Weren’t we 17 and in high school yesterday? Even when you have a plan, it’s easy to question whether you’re making the right choices.
This time in our lives almost feels like a competition to see who can achieve the most in the shortest amount of time. Specifically on social media, everyone seems to have it figured out: getting jobs, traveling, moving out, and reaching major milestones. There’s this feeling that if you’re not actively working towards something every second of every day, you’re somehow falling behind. But being young doesn’t mean every moment has to be contributing to a major accomplishment!
On the other hand, we’re constantly told that our 20s are supposed to be the best years of our lives. There’s pressure to go out, make memories, travel, maintain friendships, date, and experience every possible opportunity. But somehow, we’re also supposed to prioritize school, careers, finances, and our futures. Honestly, it can feel like you’re missing out regardless of what you chose to do—staying in means missing experiences, but going out can feel like neglecting possibilities.
Some people in their 20s are getting married, while others have never experienced their first serious relationship. Some are starting careers as others are continuing their educations or rethinking their future plans. Despite these differences, there’s an underlying expectation that certain milestones should happen by certain ages. Comparing your timeline to someone else’s can make your own progress feel insignificant. There’s no universal timeline for what your 20s are supposed to look like.
The most difficult part of your 20s might not be the responsibilities, but the expectations surrounding them. There’s so much emphasis on who you’re becoming that it’s easy to forget who you are. You can be ambitious without having every detail planned out, and you can enjoy being young without every moment being the best one. Maybe your 20s aren’t supposed to be about having everything figured out, but about learning to navigate the uncertainty that comes with figuring it out. Most importantly, you should know that you are not alone in your journey—everyone has their own path, so take in every minute!