Recently, I turned 20 years old, and I felt a surprising wave of anxiety about it. When you’re younger, birthdays feel like countdowns to freedom. You can’t wait to grow up, to hit all the “big” milestones everyone talks about. At 13, I was thrilled to finally be a teenager; at 16, I couldn’t wait to get my license; at 18, I was so excited to officially be an adult. I remember lying awake the night before my birthday as a kid because I was too excited to sleep. Everything about growing older felt like progress…until it didn’t.
Somewhere along the way, the excitement shifts. Suddenly, birthdays start to feel less like celebrations and more like deadlines. Instead of looking forward, I find myself looking around and wondering whether I’m where I’m “supposed” to be. I’ve turned something that once brought me joy into something that now feels like a quiet reminder of everything I haven’t done yet.
I know I’m not alone in this. My friends and I talk often about the anxiety surrounding our birthdays and how each year seems to come with an invisible checklist. By 20, you should know what you want to do with your life. By 25, you should be starting your career. By 30, you should have a partner and maybe be starting a family. These “shoulds” are such an easy trap to fall into. We’re constantly being told what we “should” be doing, how we “should” look, and what success “should” mean.
But here’s the truth: there’s no set of rules, no perfect timeline, no map that dictates what your life should look like. Life is arbitrary and unpredictable—a fact most of us forget under the weight of expectations and comparisons. The pressure to always be “on track” can make us overlook how far we’ve already come.
So, I encourage anyone reading this (and honestly, I’m reminding myself too) to celebrate what you have accomplished instead of focusing on what you haven’t. Maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be, but you’re still growing, learning, and figuring it out. That alone is worth celebrating. One day, I’ll turn thirty and probably wish I had slowed down to enjoy my twenties instead of constantly reaching for what’s next.
Every birthday isn’t just another number; it’s proof of growth and progress. The next time your birthday rolls around, try to reconnect with that childlike excitement and the feeling of wonder that used to keep you up the night before. Every candle you blow out is a gift, a small reminder of how lucky you are to still be here. You deserve to be celebrated, exactly as you are, right now.