Like Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City, we collegiettes have an ever-growing mental list of traits that we have seen in men. Some traits may be quirky habits that are tolerable, while others are definite deal-breakers. Thanks to all those men who did not realize what they had until we were gone, or never knew to hold onto us in the first place; we have used these unfortunate experiences to create a standard for qualities that good guys should embody. I am not talking about height, weight, or specific facial features, rather those inconspicuous characteristics like loyalty, humor, and compatibility. Though we may not have as many years of experience as Ms. Bradshaw, years of personal experience and observation provides us with at least the ability to recognize a few “red flag” behaviors in men. The list below compiles a few of those concerning behaviors to help you collegiettes filter out the quality men from the sleazebags.
CUTE versus RED-FLAG
1. He plays hard-to-get |VS| He repeatedly tells you that he wants to just be friends with you post hook-ups
2. He’s friendly and gets along with your girl friends |VS| He flirts with or hooks-up with your girl friends
3. He exudes confidence |VS| He stands in front of the mirror daily, admiring the size of his pecs and biceps
4. He’s friendly and gets along with your girl friends |VS| He flirts with or hooks-up with your girl friends
5. He keeps most of the details of your relationship private |VS| His family and friends don’t know you exist
6. He participates in those I’m-mad-at-you, but-really-5-seconds-later-I’m-sorry fights |VS| He repeatedly breaks up, then gets back together with you every few weeks
7. He clashes with a few of your close friends and family members |VS| He doesn’t get along with any of your friends or family members
8. He sends you sweet text messages or phone calls regularly |VS| He checks up on you every few minutes to make sure you are not around any guys when you are out with friends
9. He makes time for other things in his life, including his friends |VS| He barely sees you during the week, and most days is found doing his own thing
10. He’s laid-back and stress-free |VS| He is a jobless couch-potato
11. He’s indecisive when deciding date-ideas |VS| He becomes hot and cold about his relationship with you
12. He says very romantic things to you in person |VS| He acts like a complete jerk to you in front of his friends
13. He appreciates and, perhaps, sheds a tear during The Notebook |VS| He cries a river, whenever you two have confrontations
14. He gets slightly irritated during arguments |VS| He becomes verbally abusive during arguments
15. He’s receptive to open communication and self-improvement |VS| He criticizes everything about you from your looks to your personality
16. He keeps most of the details of your relationship private |VS| His family and friends don’t know you exist
17. He doesn’t seem like a “family man” |VS| He dislikes both children and animals (does he have a soft side to him?)
18. He stands his ground on issues |VS| He thinks he is right all the time and refuses to listen to others’ viewpoints
19. He seems aloof at times |VS| He never communicates about his emotions regarding his life, including your relationship
20. He is fashionable |VS| He wears tighter clothes than you do
21. He does that sexy run-hand-through-hair thing when he sees you |VS| He plays with his hair more often than you play with your own
22. He is clean-cut and takes care of himself |VS| He carries a handheld mirror to check his face before every class
Remember collegiettes, you are worth it (clever, but true motto of L’Oreal), meaning that expect the best from yourself and whichever guy chooses to pursue you. Settling for less will sooner or later give rise to troublesome conflicts. Though this is not an exhaustive list of some suspicious characteristics, hopefully it provides some insight into what behaviors may heavily hint towards a bad apple (aka him). As young, smart, and beautiful collegiettes, you are definitely pursuing bigger and better things, and one day, some guy will be able to keep up with you and treat you well, in the process!