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Real Live College Guy: Can Men and Women Really Just Be Friends?

What makes a hook up progress into a relationship, as opposed to things just fizzing out?

The transition from hooking up into a relationship can be scary at first, but if both people are feeling the connection, it can turn into something amazing. Hook ups usually start out of convenience for both people involved; you meet up at a party or are introduced through mutual friends and things just click. Before you know it you wake up the next morning and one of you takes the stride of pride, and the cycle begins again. Depending on exactly how much fun both of you had, that one hook up may turn into a regular thing. Personally, I’m not sure how you can have a regular hook up without emotions getting tied in, but I’m told it’s possible, anyways I digress. Once the hook ups turn into a regular thing and both of you enjoy it, the most logical step to progress into a relationship would be to do things in public, during the day…scary, I know. After you feel comfortable, maybe propose the idea of going to an event together, or just simply grabbing a meal. The reason things end up fizzing out is that one or both people lose interest in doing the same things over and over again. Changing things up to keep things interesting is never a bad idea if you want to try and make a relationship happen. A hook up will never be more than that unless you actively try to move things forward. So take that big step you wish you had in high school, and ask them out on a date! After all, we’re all just looking for that person to watch Netflix and eat feta bread with amirite?

Can boys and girls really just be friends?

Absolutely. I’m the strongest proponent of males and females being just friends. A lot of my best friends that I’ve met at Michigan thus far have been girls. I do have a great group of guys that I’m close with as well, but the relationship dynamics are different. The problem with boys and girls being “just friends” in college is that everyone comes into college with these preconceived notions about relationships between guys and girls being predominantly about sex, which is obviously just false on so many levels. When girls and guys are friends and are both single, things can get a little blurred if both people are attracted to each other; however, that doesn’t have to happen on any level whatsoever. It’s just important to keep your level of flirting in check. As someone who has been told I’m an absentminded flirt, I try and think about how I would interact with one of my female friends if they were a guy, and then adjust the conversation accordingly. Being in a relationship can help, since you have someone to keep you grounded and mindful when interacting with the opposite sex, however it’s entirely possible to have a normal relationship with anyone as long as you are careful not to send mixed signals.  

Do you believe in bros before hoes?

Someone used that saying on me before to try and get me to hang out them instead of going to spend time with my girlfriend. I laughed it off, and went to hang out with my girlfriend because it was what I wanted to do, plain and simple. As a principle, I don’t believe in bros before hoes because it implies that one part of my life is more important to me than another. As I am in a relationship, my experiences with this come from me wanting to spend time with my girlfriend, and not me wanting to hang out with a girl I’ve just met. In situations where a guy’s friends don’t think the girl he’s talking to/hanging out with is going to be good for him, they might try and use bros before hoes as a last ditch effort to save him before he makes a mistake. However, it’s usually too late at that point *sigh*. Sometimes bros before hoes has a place, when you’re honestly trying to save someone from what you think will be a mistake. However, most of the time, guys are just saying that because they’re lonely and wish they had someone to watch Netflix and eat feta bread with (yeah I really want feta bread right now, sue me). 

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Senior studying Cellular and Molecular Biology. In my free time I'm a part of the club Michigan Triathlon Team where I train for various triathlons and marathons/half marathons.