Masculine & feminine energy: finding your balance

As an introspective type of gal, I feel pulled towards a lot of different self-help and theoretical concepts. Currently, my hyper-fixation idea is that of the masculine and feminine energy that exists within all of us, and how our integration of these particular energies could lead us to our truest, balanced selves.

Sounds INSANE, right?! Let’s see if I can explain it from my point of view:

Note: These metaphorical energies are not in terms of actual gender, but as symbolic forces found within us.

Masculine energy is typically associated with protection, willpower, and action. This is the energy that forces us to complete our homework when we don’t want to, or gets us to the gym when we are feeling particularly unmotivated. The masculine listens to our feelings and dreams and allows us to be seen while creating a plan to move forward.

Feminine energy is associated with creativity, intuition, nurturing, and receptivity. This energy is empathetic, both to itself and to others, and is deeply knowing and self-aware. It creates and sees meaning all around. The feminine provides the feelings and the dreams. 

The idea is that we all have masculine and feminine energies within us that make us whole. However, most of our energies are unbalanced, meaning we lean more feminine or more masculine. We tend to identify with a certain energy, while oftentimes rejecting the other or believing it is not there or not needed. A lot of this is due to how we were raised and the gendered world we live in, and is far from the way we truly are inside. This rejection of either energy can lead to something called wounding.

The wounding of either of our internal energies may reveal the root cause of a lot of problems in our daily lives, namely, relationships. It’s said that over-identification with an energy and the subsequent wounding causes people to believe they need to search for the opposing energy within a partnership. This can lead to unfulfilling relationships and can keep us trapped in cycles that we grow to resent. 

Growing up, we may have been told we were not a good artist, that we should not trust ourselves, or to over-give in order to receive love—ultimately wounding our feminine energy. Even when sounding small, these types of messages may turn into our self-mantras: I am not creative, I should not trust myself, and I am not enough to receive love.

These internal ideas may cause us to lose touch with our inner feminine, who is so, so loving. She is a wonderful artist and so creative, she knows who she is deep down, and she is so full of love she doesn’t even need to receive it– she just is. 

Our masculine duality lives in us, too! He is so hurt when our beautiful, feminine essence thinks negatively about herself. He feels personally wounded when she bends over backwards for love from another person, because he is right there to hold us in a way no one else could even replicate. He then overcompensates—he can then become controlling, perfectionist, and overwork while our feminine energy retreats. 

This is associated with our two energies working against each other! In the way so many of us long to be held and appreciated for who we are, we too easily reject the idea that we have the ability to do so within ourselves. Our masculine energy deeply longs to protect and cherish the feminine that we possess, and she deeply longs to receive it. 

To tap into and heal these energies, a gentle way to start is to make space. Allow your inner feminine to speak, and allow your masculine to hear her. 

1. Ask yourself how you’re doing today. Then let yourself really respond. How are you really feeling? 
2. Whatever the answer above is, ask yourself what you need, and think of ways you can honor that within yourself. It may just be some time to cry, it may be an hour of movement, or even a big self-hug. Trust that your masculine can hold these feelings.

With this simple practice, we can learn to slowly get in touch with our feelings and our inner self— it’s like luring our two energies out in the gentlest way possible, and teaching them to work together. Today I want to remind you that your emotions are real and deserve to be heard, and that you are strong enough to hold them.

When you next go looking to others to provide your happiness or to fill that hole, remember that you ARE whole, and that what you’re looking for exists within your own heart and soul. The world needs more love, and it starts from within— I hope that you will join me on this journey of finding inner balance.

• energy
• feminine
• healing
• introspection
• masculine
• sel-love