Hot take: Having to sit down and force a casual conversation with someone is more difficult than being in an interview. Whether you joined a new club on campus, or are meeting a professional, coffee chats seem to be inevitable in today’s college environment. However, not everyone knows how to prepare for a coffee chat, or keep the conversation going after an awkward minute of silence (we’ve all been there). This is the guide on how to coffee chat, and make a successful connection.
The Prep-Work
As much as I hate to say this, coffee chats do require some prep-work. This sounds odd; however, to find good conversation and build a meaningful relationship, you must do some research. This can include stalking their LinkedIn profile, Instagram, or any other platform they are on. Take notes of about 3–5 things you find interesting about their career, activities, or life. These things don’t have to be specific, but they should build a good base on why you want to talk to this person, and it’ll be helpful in your email.
The Email
Although not all coffee chats require an email, an email adds a more professional look to your character and allows the person who you want to chat with to take you more seriously. In your first paragraph, introduce yourself and inform them of why you are reaching out. This is where the prepwork comes in handy, because in your second paragraph, go on to explain why you are interested in chatting with this person. Give specific details that you saw in their LinkedIn profile that drew your attention to them specifically. Lastly, end with some times you are available and a thank you.
The Location
Planning the coffee chat always seems to be difficult, especially if you are in a club because everyone wants to do something unique. First, the most basic would be to go to a coffee shop. However, you could spice things up by going to a coffee shop neither of you has gone to. Second, walk and talk. A simple idea, but you can find a unique spot to walk around, whether that’s a nearby park or just around a part of campus you have never been to. Lastly, cooking or baking. Obviously, this requires one of you to have access to a kitchen, but this can be a fun way to take a break from dining hall food and have a good conversation over food that you both like. Some ideas could be pasta, cookies, muffins, or brownies. Simple recipes, but super enjoyable.
The Silence
We have all been here, whether in a conversation with friends, people you don’t really know, or in a coffee chat—where there is an awkward couple of seconds of silence where neither of you knows what to say, so you sit there looking at each other: awkward. Although this experience is inevitable, there is something you can do to help fix this. While doing prep-work and researching this person, keep in mind the couple of things you noted that you want to talk to them about, and come up with some questions relating to these topics. By doing this, you have several goals in mind for the coffee chat, and when you reach a moment of awkward silence, you know how to address it because you will always have questions to back it up with.
The Thank You
After the coffee chat is over, you are on your way home. Open your Notes app on your phone and type out a few things you took away from the conversation. A “thank you” email is not always necessary, but it helps continue the connection—especially if you see this person as a valuable professional connection, or if you genuinely would like to continue speaking to this person. These takeaways that you write down will help you write a personal email that this person can cherish and look back on. To write this email, start by thanking them for taking the time out of their day, and then go on to reiterate what you talked about, some things you genuinely found helpful, topics you found interesting, and anything that inspired you.
Coffee chats should not feel like an interview. These five tips will help the coffee chat feel more personal and help you build a solid connection with a professional or someone you find interesting.