“Wow! You’re a twin? That’s so cool! Are you guys identical?” Growing up this was my least favorite thing to talk about. No, my twin brother and I are not identical, and we do not have “twin telepathy.” Much to the contrary actually, Jacob is blonde with hazel eyes, I’m brunette with brown eyes, and our interests and personalities are largely opposite.
There were a lot of aspects of my childhood that my twin brother and I shared, whereas many other children experienced these events and milestones individually. I’m not necessarily saying that this negatively or positively impacted me, just that my experience was different from the experience of children who do not have a twin. Some examples of things that Jacob and I shared were: a bedroom (until we were about 6 years old), birthday parties, a b’nai mitzvah, a high school class (and often certain teachers and sections of classes), prom, and high school graduation. These milestones and life accomplishments have been things that my brother and I have prepared for, experienced, and celebrated together.
I have always strived to distinguish myself as an individual within this “group” that being a twin placed me into. When invitations were addressed to my brother and I as “Jacob and Rachel Eisner,” I was upset by this because this is how married people are often addressed, not siblings. Although I did not always view the fact that Jacob and I were considered by others as a unit in a positive light, I would not be as determined to stand out if not for this experience.
There are so many ways that joining groups has allowed me to develop a stronger sense of independence throughout my teen life. I joined Her Campus at the University of Mighigan to have an opportunity to express my creative voice. Although I identify as a member of a group of students who contribute to this online magazine, I also identify independently as a writer. Another group I belong to which shapes my independence is OY at Hillel. As a member of OY, I contribute to planning Jewish cultural events. This shapes my independence because it has allowed me to become more than just a bystanding member of the Jewish community, but a contributor to the growth and well-being of the community. I joined a sorority, Gamma Phi Beta, to become part of a group of like-minded individuals, but also to have countless opportunities for leadership.
Standing out is something that many students strive to do when applying for internships and jobs. Sometimes the best way to stand out is to find where you fit in, and do things you love. It is easiest to be independent when you are surrounded by a support system of like minded individuals who want to see you succeed.
Photo courtesy of The Reel House.