By: Shilpi Mohanty
Life is so unpredictable. It could be good at one point and then get bad any second. This makes it very tempting to live life with a strict plan and avoid any sense of change. I gave in to the temptation and lived most of my life with a strict plan. I stayed in and avoided meeting new people due to social anxiety. Being a homebody meant minimal change, but one impulsive decision changed it. This drastic change led to me adapting and blooming more as a person. Keep reading to find out what decision changed my life and how I evolved in just one semester.
This year I began with change. I’m usually the person who loves staying in my comfort zone with the people I enjoy being by. I don’t typically branch out, go out as much, or like taking risks. I like watching other people take risks. I thought my simple life being closed was the best it could be. Last year, I applied to UMich impulsively. My parents put the idea in my head since UMich was my dream school since I’ve been in middle school. However, I thought getting into UMich was a low shot, but better to know than wonder, so I applied.
I ended up getting accepted into UMich. I really didn’t think I would leave Michigan State, but I did. I spent last year worried about change, but I think in a way I was glad I would finally face change. I definitely missed my close friend group, but towards the end, the group fell apart. It felt like a sign that I made the right decision by accepting my admission into UMich.
I’ve spent so long running away from change in my life that it finally caught up to me. Starting over in Ann Arbor was so intimidating. The only people I knew were old friends I lost contact with. I was also moving in with strangers I never talked to before, so it could have went either way. I wasn’t with my friend who I saw every day anymore which made it more difficult. I felt the imposter syndrome so hard when I just saw so many different cliques in classes. They just knew each other for so long and just laughed together and did life together. It felt like I wouldn’t get that again. It felt like I wouldn’t find people to be in my corner.
After spiraling for a while with the possibility of not finding my people, I decided to try. I decided to meet up with old friends and join clubs. A life just shutting myself out of opportunities was not the life that I deserved. I deserved to put an effort in for myself. It’s better to try than to accept the worst and wonder what if. I met my roommates and somehow developed a close friendship with them. They’re there for me through the good times and the bad. I put myself out there by joining clubs. I joined three clubs, but the most special one for me is HerCampus. I reconnected with my passion of writing and meeting new people through coffee chats. I really felt connected with the sense of community in navigating college life together and how we all go through similar issues rather than being alone in problems. I also reconnected with so many old friends and started to feel a sense of belonging that I didn’t think I’d have.
Becoming more social and getting out of my head about every social interaction gave me more of a sense of belonging and confidence. My confidence went up more as I never thought I would be able to open up to new people and let them in without overthinking what I say and my body language. It’s still a learning experience trying to be more social and be able to talk to anyone, but I’m trying. It helped me learn more about myself and my priorities. Being able to integrate myself into this wonderful UMich community and utilize different resources UMich gives all students such as CAPS to grow, gave me the ability to trust myself and tone down second guessing myself. I feel a sense of accomplishment through doing that.
I realized life is too short to live in your head and to really try to live. Getting out of your comfort zone and trying things you want to do can truly help you learn more about yourself. It shows you sides of yourself you didn’t think you had. It helps you embody the best version of yourself, and in turn, learn about negative energy clouding your life. This knowledge of negative energy will let you cleanse that energy no matter how painful of a process it is. It’ll also help you unintentionally find family and find so many different opportunities you never thought you could have.
I usually had such a phobia of change but somehow I faced it this year. I found my sense of home and found parts of me I didn’t think I’d find at UMich. I’m so grateful to have the opportunity of being a Michigan Wolverine and being a member of HerCampus.