There’s something magical about the 8 PM glow of Love is Blind loading on Netflix. You know exactly what you’re signing up for—two hours of people trauma-bonding through a wall, saying “I love you” before even seeing each other, and then getting emotionally destroyed on national television. We tell ourselves that we’re done. We’ve evolved, we have hobbies, we journal now, we’re emotionally regulated.Â
Yet, 2 AM rolls around and once again, we’re deep in the TikTok edits, retweeting “Montoya Por Favor” and texting the girls’ group chat about how hot Rob is despite the gaslighting. Love Island: All Stars just wrapped, Love is Blind Season 8 is all over our FYPs, and even Too Hot To Handle has teased another season.
But why? Why do we, a generation of self-proclaimed skeptics and “emotionally unavailable” girlies continue to watch strangers perform love? More importantly, does anyone actually find love on these shows or are we just tuning in to watch their demise?
The Science of the TrainwreckÂ
We can all agree that part of the appeal is pure chaos. Dating shows are like psychological experiments. Strip away the bikinis and villa confessionals and what you really get is a high-stakes study of human insecurity, lust, and how people act when cameras are rolling 24/7.Â
Deep down, we’re all a little nosy. Dating shows are the reality TV equivalent of creeping on your ex’s new girl’s Instagram stories at 1 AM. It’s messy. It’s unhinged. It’s literally people humiliating themselves for our entertainment.Â
There’s just something about watching a 6’4 finance bro crumble because his girl dared to make eye contact with another man. Every recoupling? A public execution of feelings. The Casa Amor week? Psychological warfare in cute bikinis. All of these challenges are designed to trigger our most primal instincts: jealousy, attachment, and fear of abandonment. We watch because we crave the mess—but it’s not our mess. And we eat it up!Â
It’s also a weirdly safe way to explore relationship dynamics. We get front-row seats to toxic situationships, gaslighting, and love bombing. It almost seems like a crash course in relationship red flags. We get to scream “GIRL, NO” at our screens as ShantĂ© forgives Brion while secretly wondering if we’d fall for it too. And every season, it reaffirms that sometimes the real love story is us choosing ourselves.Â
Love as a Performance
But more than love, dating shows have become personal branding pitches. Scroll through the Instagram of any recent Love Island finalist and you’ll find blue ticks, clothing discount codes, and podcast launches. Love is optional but influencing is guaranteed.
Take season 6 of Love is Blind where Chelsea & Jimmy’s situationship feels less like a love story and more like two people auditioning for their role as reality TV’s next toxic couple. But we’re still here for it, because their drama is definitely entertaining.
Do These Shows Actually Work?
Spoiler: not really. Love Island UK has pumped out over 250 contestants. In total, around only five couples have survived. And that’s generous. Temptation Island literally exists to ruin relationships for sport. Love Is Blind? You’ll get one Lauren and Cameron per season if you’re lucky and the rest? Divorce, heartbreak, and a podcast episode.Â
But maybe that’s the point. These shows were never going to actually work. They’re designed to make us feel something: hope, anger, secondhand embarrassment. We watch because it reflects how messy and complicated love actually is. It’s awkward but hopeful. There’s comfort in seeing other people struggle with the same dating horrors we joke about. Micro-cheating, icks, and dating dilemmas—dating shows just condense and capture all of it in a cute villa in Spain.Â
The Love-Hate Cycle
So, will we keep watching? Absolutely. Because deep down, we’re all a little romantic. We want to believe that love is possible even in the most artificial, ridiculous, produced settings. And until we find it for ourselves, watching other people try (and fail) is the next best thing.
And at least it’s cheaper than therapy!