According to Cady from Mean Girls, “Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it,” but I think the babies of the world are probably a little tired of the ladies stealing their costumes and scandalicious-ing them up when they clearly look way better in them. Who do you think would get more candy in their costumes, the women or the babies?
Round One
Seahorse
Babies:
Women:
Winner: I mean, the women are rocking the curly, semi-flaccid tail…but the babies are clearly the winners here. More realistic and that baby’s facial expression really shows commitment to the costume.
Round Two
Unicorn
Babies:
Women:
Winners: The babies went for a more toned-down unicorn horn while the women went all out with theirs. However, that tail is way too skimpy and unicorns obviously don’t wear bracelets. Even though the baby here may or not be an actual inanimate doll, the babies win it again.
Round Three
Cheeseburger
Babies:
Women:
Winners: The women’s bun-to-meat patty ratio are way out of whack. Who wants that much bun? The babies get it right with their hearty patty size and their lettuce and tomato also look a lot fresher than the ladies’. Plus, those Converse allow for extremely fast running from house-to-house for trick-or-treating. Can’t determine what shoes the ladies went for, but from that stance I’m going to guess they’re not looking to optimize candy collection. Babies, three for three.
Round Four
Peacock
Babies:
Women:
Winners: Close call. Babies.
Round Five
Smurf
Babies:
Women:
Winners: Although the ladies are rocking the curved hat a little better than the babies (really, check out that lady’s shadow on the path to her mushroom hut home), the baby is killing it with a platform shoe of sorts. Smurf babies. It’s looking bad for the ladies.
Round Six
Gingerbread Man
Babies:
Women:
Winners: Similar approaches were taken here. We’ve got a red shoulder piece in both costumes and a green bow. However, the babies really show their costume commitment once again as they flaunt the round head piece. They are also rocking a more believable smile. Babies.
Round Seven
Octopus
Babies:
Women:
Winners: This baby knows that he’s a winner and is just playing with the women at this point. As impressive and octopus-like as those tenticle fuzz boots, light up tutu, bikini top, and whatever the f*** is happening on that woman’s head are, the babies just knocked it out of the park.
And the BABIES take the top prize with a clean sweep in the Battle of the Halloween Costumes. Better luck next year, ladies.