Despite only having been an official ~independent college student~ for two months, I’ve quickly adapted to the reality that I have to start creating a life for myself. As someone who has always enjoyed the comforts of her hometown’s familiarity, being dropped into the deep end of adult life has been a startling shift (especially because I can’t swim).
The stress of indecision, schoolwork, social life, self-acceptance, self-doubt, and a multitude of other fun things has left me feeling like a fish out of water, and I’m slowly starting to take steps back and consider my life as a whole. Going to college has made me realize that I have a whole life to live outside of the one I created back home, and now is the time to figure out what that life should be. Maybe I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m slowly figuring out how to handle the issues that continuously plague me, and I will share my pseudo-solutions with you below.
Problem #1. You feel guilty because you are paying a lot of money to go to school and you don’t even know what you want to study.
If you’re like me, you are worried that you are taking and paying for classes that won’t even be relevant to the major you eventually decide upon and that all your efforts will have been for nothing. My advice on this matter is to choose classes in fields that you might want to major in that also satisfy a degree requirement. For example, I took a class in comparative politics this semester, because I thought I might want to major in political science and because it satisfied 4 social science credits. Taking this class made me realize that although I like being politically aware, I’m not as passionate about the subject as I thought I would be, and that’s okay! If the class did anything, it made me realize what I don’t want to do, so at least I’ve narrowed down my choices! Also, it’s important to kick the mindset that you’re “wasting your time” by taking a class in a subject that you discover you’re not actually interested in. Every class has the ability to teach you something, so whether you use that “pointless” women’s studies credit to call out sexist jerks or your “useless” political science class to flex your civic savviness on all your friends, at least you’ve done something with your knowledge.
Problem #2. Everyone you walk past on campus is a fashion goddess, and you feel wildly inferior to all of them.
Though it may be superficial, everybody wants to feel good about how they look. Even in the age of body positivity, we are constantly bombarded with Instagram photos of skinny white girls wearing mom jeans and tube tops. Although you may feel tempted to blow your semester budget on clothes to look just like the effortlessly cool international students or the badass pantsuit-wearing business majors, it’s important to take a step back and consider what kind of clothes actually make you feel good. Maybe you think mom jeans should be left in the 80s, or that leggings will always be superior to any “real” pants. Whatever your attitude may be, my general advice is to simply choose clothes that make you feel cool and confident. You don’t have to stay up-to-date with every trend, and you shouldn’t feel pressure over whether or not you fit the image of that picture-perfect girl. As long as you feel good in how you look, you’re doing great!
Problem #3. You just straight up feel like you don’t belong.
This not so fun feeling is one that is essentially unavoidable. You might feel it when you’re sitting by yourself in the dining hall, watching that picture-perfect friend group banter back and forth, or when everyone in your discussion section is offering complex, insightful points and you can’t even form a coherent thought. Moments like these can easily wear you down and make you believe that you’re failing because you’re not living that dream college life you see in the movies. Newsflash: movies aren’t real, and even if they were, there has to be conflict before it is resolved. The most important thing to remember here is to keep your eyes on your own paper. Everybody figures out their messy life at different paces, and just because someone else is succeeding does not mean you are failing. Another thing to remember, no matter how many times it’s been said, you are not alone. Every 18 through twenty-something year old is trying to find their footing in their own world, and sometimes the most fun is to be had ALONG the way! So appreciate this time for what it is: messy, confusing, but yours.