The other day, someone asked me what my favorite food was, and I had no idea. As I thought about it some more, I realized that I don’t know a lot of things. Our lives as college students are filled with lessons (both inside and outside of the lecture hall), unpredictable days, and epiphanies. We are constantly comparing our lives to those of our peers in aspects such as grades, fitness, body types, and social lives. We think other people are being more successful than us and have better lives than us because they have it all figured out. Some people know that they want to fill their schedules with rigorous pre-med classes so they can one day be a world-class neurosurgeon. Others know for a fact that they want to open their own sandwich shop. But as for me, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing or what I want to do with my life. I don’t know. Is this a phase?
I live in a constant state of uncertainty. I don’t even know what I’m going to eat for dinner tonight because I don’t plan my life that far ahead. This “I don’t know” chapter began in my senior year of high school, and the end is still nowhere in sight for me. When people began to ask me where I wanted to go to college, I didn’t know, and it seemed like all of my friends did. My parents asked me what my favorite subject was in school, and I still couldn’t give them a concrete answer. This dilemma then followed me to my first day in college, where there were people constantly asking me questions about my life, none of which I had an answer to. What do you want your career to be? Do you want to study abroad? And the big one that never fails to make my heart skip a few beats: what’s your major?
These frightening questions extend much further than my professional life when my friends ask me: What do you think about that guy? Do you want to be in a relationship? What are you doing this summer? When bombarded with questions like these, I usually blurt out a random response because I am too scared to say “I don’t know.” Personally, I don’t understand how someone can be only 18 years old and know what they want to do with the rest of their lives. How does someone figure that out and realize that’s exactly what they want to do with their life? How does everyone know what they’re doing, and I don’t?
What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of life do I want to live? I feel like I have so many people to please: my parents, my friends, my relatives, and myself. I can’t seem to find a happy medium to please everyone. But the thing is, you can’t please everyone. So you might as well please yourself and do what you want at your own pace. College feels like the fork in the road where every decision I make could direct me in completely different directions.
Since then, I have come to the strangely refreshing realization that no one actually knows what they are doing. If we open our eyes, we can see that there are uncertainties in everyone’s lives, and the vast majority of us feel lost in one aspect or another. It’s okay not to know where exactly your life is going right now, and it is okay to reply with “I don’t know.” A lot of us are just trying to create the illusion that we know what we are doing, but very few of us actually do.
So, to the girl who doesn’t know what her major is, to the girl who doesn’t have an answer to the “what are we?” question, and to the girl who doesn’t know if she wants to go to Chipotle or Jimmy John’s for lunch, it’s okay to not know all the answers right now. Don’t let people scare you into thinking that you are not where you are supposed to be right now. You WILL figure out what you are supposed to do. You will know whether or not you really like that boy. And trust me, you will figure out what you want to eat for lunch. We are all in the same boat, figuring it out as we go.
Instead of letting the “I don’t know” freak you out, let it inspire you to look deeper within yourself to move the pieces around and piece together your future because we are all destined to do great things. Know this: it IS just a phase and be glad that it’s happening because it is all part of the exciting journey we take in college. So enjoy this stage, be uncertain, answer with confidence, and say “I don’t know.”
Image credit: The Hans India