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The Case of the Missing Nutella

Living in the great white North is already hard enough, with the penitentiary like showers and unreliable bussing system. So, when students living on North Campus noticed Nutella in the dining hall, they were understandably excited. This small sliver of joy found in the desolate plains of North Campus lasted merely a week before these enthusiasts noticed the absence of their affection. Next to where the Nutella container once laid was a sign from MDining, stating, “Hey, we know everyone loved the Nutella but due to it being stolen multiple times we are now out and will not have it for a while. We hope to have it again soon”. This passive-aggressive sign left many students frustrated and hurt, wondering who was the culprit, and why they would want to hoard so many tubs of Nutella.

To try and dig deeper into this phenomenon of the stolen spread, HerCampus interviewed several fans about this untimely tragedy…

HC: So, about how long did Bursley’s Nutella privileges last?

Morgan Lindblad: Probably a week, maybe not even that long. It’s really all a blur now.

Helen Gerondeau: Yeah, I remember Bursley had it before South Quad, and that was a big deal. It’s bull that we lose our Nutella but South still has theirs. It’s just another way to pit residence halls against each other.

 

HC: How do you think the klepto carried out their plan?

Maddy Menante: It’d be pretty easy, the Nutella jar is right next to a set of doors, so they’d just have to pick it up and walk out.

Morgan Lindblad: Yeah, it wouldn’t really be that hard.

 

HC: Hmm…sounds like you have thought a lot about this.  

Helen Gerondeau: Yeah, we joked about stealing it, but never wanted to hurt the masses. But, for $57,000 a year I should be able to eat some Nutella. What the hell am I supposed to dip my strawberries in now?

Morgan Lindblad: Yeah, they budget stealing into our meal plan! It’s really a waste if you don’t liberate anything.

 

HC: So you condone the Nutella thief?

Maddy Menante: No, definitely not. I want my Nutella back. They started putting it in cups today, as if we’re babies.

HC: Any idea as to who could’ve gotten away with it?

 

Maddy Menante: Anyone who wanted to, I suppose. Maybe the Bursley Runner, he is notorious for running throughout the dining hall. He definitely could have made it out quick enough to go unnoticed.

To this day, no one knows exactly who stole Bursley’s Nutella, or when it will return. Until then, students are left pondering it’s whereabouts and who the mastermind behind such an escape plan was. In the meantime, there have been several angry students posting flyers around Bursley, begging for the release of their beloved spread. One such sign is pictured below, quoting Taken.

It seems these students will have to trek down to South Quad to get their Nutella fix, unless they’re willing to shell out some BlueBucks for that tasty hazelnut. Good luck to all those in Dirty Burs and sorry about your loss. 

Photos courtesy of Spoon University and Annelise Droste

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